Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
1 min read
When I’m talking to people for a profile, I catch thermals of their inspiration, and part of me wants to quit everything and do what they’re doing. But I’m a tired old news editor with too many after-work projects. Someday …I’m done with the people who can’t find anything to do in this town. Here’s a numbered but unordered list of what I would do this summer if days were 35 hours long:10. Skate myself black and blue as a derby queen9. Crash my bike and still win the pot on a poker ride8. Blow minds with my Tuvan throat singing skills7. Make a show for Channel 26 or 27 in which I interview people on the street about anything at all6. Build elaborate set pieces for burlesque performers5. Injure myself further by playing full-contact football4. Patrol the streets and fight villains as a real-life superhero. (Maybe I could combine this with my derby persona?)3. Shred hot lixx as a competitive air guitarist2. Turn my black skull thumb green by gardening in Pee Alley1. Race hoopties at the drag stripWhat would you do if you could find the time?