Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
1 min read
Looking for a little more change in the coffers, the New York Times is offering week-long, typically online classes taught by its big-name editors. Nicholas Kristof, Gail Collins and Eric Asimov are all teaching courses this fall for between $125 and $185.Incidentally I, the Weekly Alibi’s staff writer, am also available to instruct people on stuff. My rates are much more reasonable. I charge anywhere from $5 to $10 to teach anyone anything I know. Also, my knowledge shouldn’t take a whole week to impart. Give me like a half hour and I’ll show you how to eat the Slim Jim-cheese stick combo packs in such a way that every bite includes meat and cheese. I can also teach you the best way to go about telling people you play guitar and then, when people ask you to play, I’ll explain how to disappointedly say, "man, I wish I could, but these darn calluses are killing me. I have calluses because I play guitar so much." Enroll today!