Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
5 min read
In Japan, haiku are traditionally short poems focused on the natural world and our place in it. This being America, we like to take tradition, dip it in batter, fry it up and serve it on a stick. This year, haiku entries of all flavors came pouring in from middle and high schoolers, inmates and apostrophe abusers. It was difficult to narrow down the nearly 3,000 haiku we received, but our commitment to art demanded nothing less. Our favorites in each category will receive a $20 gift certificate from Gold Street Caffè, a gift certificate for $15 to Yoga Now, a $10 cert from Pin It Up Hair Studio, $10 worth of pie from Pizza 9, two movie passes to Guild Cinema and an authentic (and classy) Alibi bottle opener key chain! Winners can pick up their loot at our headquarters (413 Central SE) Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., or e-mail haiku@alibi.com to make other arrangements. We do not deliver. Thanks to our judges Jessica Cassyle Carr, Marisa Demarco, Adam Fox, Molly Lindsay, Laura Marrich, John Millington and Ilene Style for their discerning tastes. And a very sincere thanks to all of the entrants. Having to read thousands of fun, weird and moving poems ain’t a bad gig.
Best Traditional Haiku sunflowers openlike verbs, hummingbird hangs, afeathered green comma —Danny Solis Best Haiku About the Undead on Easter Sundaymy five year old child exclaimed"Jesus! A zombie!" —Todd Eddy Best Haiku About the Recession I have no teacherFor AP Economy,APS is broke. —Beth Wright Best Haiku That’s Also a Jingle I love my iPhoneI can sit on the toiletAnd let loose a tweet. —Joe Black Best Haiku About Michael Jackson More than his musicMichael was the first Black manTo walk on the moon —Hakim Bellamy Best Haiku About Sopaipillas New Mexico mealsend when we lick the honeyoff our fingertips. —Ann McGinley Best Nursery Rhyme Haiku Old Mother HubbardLiving in the South ValleyMakes bomb burritos. —Charles Gravina Best Haiku About Dirt Detroit roach ice cubes.Brooklyn chicken bone sidewalks.Burque dirt on toast. —Emily Severance Best Haiku About Cryptids Ach, Wild Haggis.Ahv no’ sen the wee beastie,bit ye smell ‘im ’round![translation from the Scottish:Ah, Wild Haggis.I’ve never seen the creature,yet its fragrance looms.] —Jordan Ganz Best Miscellaneous Haiku That man standing there,He has a lot of keys. Must be the janitor. —Brandon Chapman
Traditional AnticipationParched life holds its breath—waitingSmell of desert rain —Larry Elmore A dust cloud blows byCrickets and wind chimes emergeBeneath restless sky. —Joel Kurzawa The Undead My little toe is smallMy big toe is a zombieMy other toes are scared —Jonathan Coriz, Desert Ridge Middle School Crunchy and stiffHand punching out of the groundFingers breaking off. —Grace Roff How zombies despairmarching on Capital Hill.No brains anywhere! —Jordan Ganz Recession This whole recesssion,I’ve been thinking, "and I thought Detroit sucked BEFORE." —Chris Chapin Also a Jingle If ever you wantTo paper your new bird cage Alibi works well —Joe Black Alternative sourceAll your news, views, and the Don. Weekly Alibi —Rich Newman Mattress Firm. Where it’sEasy to get a crappyBed. Wow! Twist ending! —Bella Pori Michael Jackson Not Until He DiedDid I Really Sit And Appreciate "Earth Song" —Laurel Butler This man dances goodBut he likes to grab his groinI think something is wrong! —Carlos Montano, Desert Ridge Middle School Before his death I’dAlways assumed the aliensLoaned him to us —Hakim Bellamy [Editor’s note: Not 5-7-5, but too good not to include.] Sopaipillas Warm cotton battingUnraveling in my mouthRibbons of honey —Lauren C. Teffeau I can’t take you home,You just don’t keep very well.Like my poetry. —Patrick Hibbard Santa Fe Santa:Christmas gifts of red and green,sopaipilla sack. —Jordan Ganz Nursery Rhymes Nursery rhymes areFun when you’re young but as youAge they get freaky —Mary Farrah Living in a shoeThe old lady with the kidsRhythm method sucks —Joe Black I hate nursery rhymesJack should jump over a cliffNot a candlestick. —Chad Smith, Desert Ridge Middle School Dirt What to say of dirt?Does Old Dirty Bastard countin a dirt haiku? —Jordan Ganz gossip’s sad appealis that other people’s dirtmakes us feel cleaner —Jeffrey D. Miller Dank and full I hopeMy compost draws out richnessI love rotted beets —Kristen Sandoval Cryptids You ate my puppySo don’t pretend you’re not realBad chupacabra! —Hope Eckert Yeti supports planof public health care—its lackabominable —Emily Severance New status update.Mothman lives in Point Pleasant. We’re friends on Facebook. —Sue McGilpin Miscellaneous Haikus are so lame,they never make any sense,refrigerator. —Christina Barajas waiting for my cathis conspicuous absenceproves most difficult —Micheal Henry Lee Toddler hell-bent ondestruction and suicide.Also likes Elmo. —Holly Hargrove