There seems to be some confusion. You guys are pop stars. Rhianna is not missing only a black guitar. She is missing the experience of shitty gear and heavy amps, of being paid $50 for a show and feeling like it was a pretty good take. A sample by actual badass Prince does not a rockstar make, Prima J. R. Kelly? Now we’re just being silly, right? Hannah motherfarking Montana? Not you either, Pink. You were just mad about your divorce. Although starting a fight is getitng warmer. As is working with Linda Perry.And hey, energy drink, when’s the last time you went out of tune six times in a single show?Oh, wait. Maybe I’m just confused. Because the d-bags in Nickelwack are not rock stars.Maybe it’s the belt-buckle holding Poison?So far there’s been a lot of talk of hot tubs and limos.Did you all see the Ladies of the ’80s Barbies? Joan Jett, Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper.I propose a local band Barbie. She comes with a staple gun, a stack of handbills, a mega-heavy bag of pedals and cables, a soldering iron, and a beer in her jacket pocket. At least we’ll always have Jem and the Holograms.
Not Rock Stars
2 min read
