Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
2 min read
The Taco Bell / Doritos hybrid—a match made in heaven? The only real question here is: What took them so long?Last night after consuming two powerful beers, I had a sober friend roll me up to the drive through at the neighborhood TB. The wait was long, and in apology, a worker gave me a coupon. I wonder if it will be good in three years, because that’s about the rate at which I consume Taco Bell.For the uninitiated, the orange taco shell on this thing is coated with Doritos cheese powder. Unfortunately, with every bite, a fine powder disperses into the air in your mouth. Somehow, as you begin to inhale it a little between bites, this causes some unsightly coughing. Perhaps my shell was not assembled correctly or had too much cheese powder. Upon completion, my lips hurt a bit from the salt. They were puckered and sore.It should be noted that despite the physical pain, I did eat the taco in its entirety. Let me break this down according to the Marisa Measure of Food: Cheap or expensive? Cheap. Very cheap. Under $2. Soggy or not soggy? A little soggy toward the end in the meeting point between meat-like product and shell Hot or not hot? Not hot. (Taco Bell is potentially the only fast food chain in Albuquerque that does not serve green chile.)