Bidecennial Of Bastard Haiku

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Bidecennial of Bastard Haiku
(Julia Minamata juliaminamata.com)
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Like any art medium, poetry is a manifestation of the culture that engenders it, and traditional forms can provide an especial understanding of a society’s beliefs.

For instance, the English heroic couplet, with its solid end rhymes, reflects the British values of propriety and order.

The three-lined Italian terza rima stanza (think Dante’s
Divine Comedy ) highlights the importance of the number three, a celebration of the Holy Trinity.

And haiku, the most economic of forms, conveys a Japanese Buddhist understanding of nature as eternal, with humans as a component but not the star.

Then these forms come to America, where their hard rules are liquefied in our melting pot of freedom before they are deep-fried and super-sized, served on a Styrofoam plate of cultural appropriation.

We here at the
Alibi are nothing if not champions of bastard art forms, and really, bastards in general. So, we present to you the winners of the 20th annual Haiku Contest. Thousands of American-style haiku from hundreds of entrants made their way to our special underground poetry lair where each poem was lovingly touched and considered, regardless of its parentage. During this process, a few things became clear:

One: It is almost impossible to write a good erotic haiku but entirely possible to write really very icky ones.

Two: A disturbing number of high school students who were forced to enter the contest don’t know who Mitt Romney is. Because information is so hard to access these days. C’mon, kids! I wore a Mondale button to the third grade. Get it together.

Three: More haiku should be written about early ’90s rap because it cannot NOT be good.

A heartfelt thank you to all who took the time to share your work. Each winner will receive a $20 certificate to ABQ Brew Pub, a $10 certificate to Purple Pink Rhino and a $10 certificate to El Norteño Restaurant. To claim your prize, please go to the
Alibi offices at 413 Central NW and do a dance.

Winners Of Alibi’s 20Th Annual Haiku Contest

Traditional

Oh collect your tears

In the vase by the window—

The spring flowers bloom

—David Naquin

Willow of the Reed

Makes line drawings in Water

Give thanks to the Breeze

—Paula Singleton

Cicadas in trees

will sing their cosmic chorus

then suddenly stop

—Sean Hall

Feature

Bath Salts

APD frisking

She just asked for Epsom salts

Grandma at Walgreen’s

—Peter B. Ives

When I get hungry

I like a side dish of face

Sprinkled with bath salts

—Pamela Frank

I melt in silence.

The world drifting from the sea,

Is no way to die.

—M. Luke

Feature

Mitt Romney

“Romney’s To Do List”  

Places to foreclose:

Sesame Street and Mister

Rogers’ Neighborhood.

—John Orman

The Grand Old Party

Puts a lampshade on its head

Empty suit, lights out

—Peter B. Ives

“Anagram Haiku”

Mormen Tim Tromney

Met yom troy trim rote mimer

Yen term more money

—Gloria Hajduk

Feature

Local

Clouds form in the west

Baptizing the horizon

In the hue of God

—Michael Kear

Oh, hot, soiled diaper!

Who threw you on the sidewalk?

Maybe Satan’s mom.

—Rachel Langer

Spring moth invasion

swatted in bathtub with a

Greenpeace newsletter.

—Beth Cohen

Feature

Sci-fi / Fantasy

Arnold’s replacement

for
Total Recall needs to

GET IN ZEE CHOPPAH!!

—Jordan Ganz

don’t colonize Mars

first we fucked up planet Earth

let us rot in place

—Keith Szudarski

What has a Ring of

Power and loves The Hobbit?

This guy! (disappears)

—Chris Chapin

Feature

Apocalyptic

Fat man with a beard

Eats baked beans and cream corn slop             

Out of my body

—Rachel Satz

Yo mom’s so metal,

the Four Horsemen are all like,

“Hey girl, need a lift?”

—Jordan Ganz

De End is near, Mon.

Steel drums vibe dat reggae beat.

Apocalypse-oh.

—Bob Rakoczy

Feature

Miscellaneous

“Young MC Jams, Made Smaller”

1.

A high-class luncheon?

Mass consumption scares ladies

Do not just stand there

2.

Standing on the wall?

The joke’s on you, Poindexter

Do not just stand there

—Mike Lensi

Years now of chronic

Illness – like a ghost, I haunt

My own memories.

 —Richard M. Fye

Feature

Eroticism

The sound that triggers

skin to lift like sloe-boned silk:

your voice through poems.

 —Erin M. Daughtrey

long and lonely night

grind myself thinking of you

polka dot panties

—Chloe Makowski

May I please have sex

With your skeleton when you

Are finished with it?

—Kevin WetSpot

Erin Adair-Hodges teaches English at Central New Mexico Community College. She is a former arts and copy editor for the Alibi.

Bidecennial of Bastard Haiku

Julia Minamata juliaminamata.com

Bidecennial of Bastard Haiku

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