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Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
7 min read
ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Tarahumara Indians of northwestern Mexico are renowned for their ability to run long distances. The best runners can cover 200 miles in two days. The paths they travel are not paved or smooth, either, but rather the rough canyon trails that stretch between their settlements. Let’s make them your inspirational role models in the coming week, Aries. I’m hoping that you will be as tough and tenacious as they are that you will pace yourself for the long haul, calling on your instinctual strength to guide you. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You may have only a dim idea about how your smart phone and computer work, but that doesn’t prevent you from using their many wonderful features. While you’re swimming, you know almost nothing about the physiological processes that are active inside you, and yet you have no problem making all the necessary movements. In that spirit, I’m not worried about whether or not you will grasp the deep inner meaning of events that will be unfolding in the coming week. Complete understanding isn’t absolutely necessary. All you need to do is trust your intuition to lead you in the direction of what’s interesting and educational. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "I need not sell my soul to buy bliss," says a character in Charlotte Bronte’s 19th-century novel Jane Eyre. "I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give." This would be a great speech for you to memorize and periodically recite in the next two weeks. Do it in front of your mirror at least once a day to remind yourself of how amazingly resourceful you are. It will also help you resist the temptation to seek gifts from people who can’t or won’t give them to you.CANCER (June 21-July 22): What is the big adventure you’ve been postponing forever because it hasn’t been convenient? How about an intriguing possibility you have always wanted to experiment with but have consistently denied yourself? Or what about that nagging mystery you’ve been wishing you had the time and energy to solve? Wouldn’t your life change for the better if you finally dived in and explored it? In the next two weeks, Cancerian, I urge you to consider giving yourself permission to pursue something that fits one of those descriptions.LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Right now, Leo, you are a majestic and mysterious mess of raw power. You are a fresh, flaming fountain of pure charisma. Irresistible! That’s you! Unstoppable! You! Impossible to fool and immune to the false charms of heartfelt mediocrity! You! You! You! In your current condition, no one can obstruct you from seeing the naked truth about the big picture. And that’s why I am so sure that victory will soon be yours. You will overcome the fuzziness of your allies, the bad vibes of your adversaries and your own inertia. Not all conquests are important and meaningful, but you will soon achieve the one that is.VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A character in Herman Hesse’s novel Demian says the following: "I live in my dreams. Other people live in dreams, but not in their own." Whose dreams do you live in, Virgo? What is the source of the fantasies that dominate your imagination? Are they the authentic outpourings of your own soul? Or did they originate with your parents and teachers and lovers? Did they sneak into you from the movies and songs and books you love? Are they the skewed result of the emotional wounds you endured or the limitations you’ve gotten used to? Now is an excellent time to take inventory. Find out how close you are to living in your own dreams.LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Charles Ives was a renowned American composer who lived from 1874 to 1954. Because his music was experimental and idiosyncratic, it took a long time for him to get the appreciation he deserved. When he was 73 years old, he won the prestigious Pulitzer Prize for a symphony he had written when he was 30. I expect that in the near future you might be the beneficiary of a similar kind of mojo, Libra. A good deed you did or a smart move you made in the past will finally get at least some of the recognition or response you’ve always wanted.SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "There are no right answers to wrong questions," says science fiction writer Ursula K. Le Guin. And that’s why you must be so conscientious about coming up with the very best questions. Right, Scorpio? All your efforts to hunt down solutions will be for naught unless you frame your problems elegantly and accurately. Now here’s the very good news: Your skill at asking pertinent questions is at a peak. That’s why I suggest you make this Focused Inquiry Week. Crisply define three questions that will be important for you to address in the next seven months.SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Charlie Parker was a great jazz musician. As a saxophonist and composer, he was an influential innovator. Unfortunately, he also had an expensive heroin addiction. It interfered with his ability to achieve financial stability. There’s a famous story about him showing a bystander two veins on his arm as he prepared to shoot up. "This one’s my Cadillac," he confessed. "And this one’s my house." I’m bringing this up, Sagittarius, in the hope that it will provide a healthy shock. Are you doing anything remotely like Charlie Parker? Are you pouring time and energy and money into an inferior form of pleasure or a trivial distraction that is undermining your ability to accomplish higher goals? If so, fix that glitch, please.CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "I hate a song that makes you think that you are not any good," said iconic songwriter Woody Guthrie. "I hate a song that makes you think that you are just born to lose. Because you are too old or too young or too fat or too slim too ugly or too this or too that. Songs that run you down or poke fun at you. I am out to sing songs that will prove to you that this is your world." Amen, brother Woody! I have the same approach to writing horoscopes. And I’m happy to advise you, Capricorn, that you should have a similar attitude toward everything you put out and take in during the coming week. Just for now, reject all words, ideas and actions that demoralize and destroy. Treat yourself to a phase of relentless positivity.AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): "I know not what my past still has in store for me," testified the Indian spiritual poet Tukaram. I believe most of us can say the same thing, and here’s why: The events that happened to us once upon a time keep transforming as we ripen. They come to have different meanings in light of the ever-new experiences we have. What seemed like a setback when it first occurred may eventually reveal itself to have been the seed of a blessing. A wish fulfilled at a certain point in our history might come back to haunt us later on. I bring up these ideas, Aquarius, because I think you’re primed to reinterpret your own past. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): According to legend, Jennifer Lopez’s butt is insured for $300 million. Bruce Springsteen has supposedly insured his voice for $31 million and wine expert Angela Mount is said to have insured her taste buds for $16 million. In that spirit, Pisces, I encourage you to consider insuring your imagination. To be clear, I don’t anticipate that you will have occasion to collect any settlement. Nothing bad will happen. But taking this step could be a fun ritual that might drive home to you just how important your imagination will be in the coming weeks. Your power to make pictures in your mind will either make you crazy with unfounded fantasies and fearful delusions, or else it will help you visualize in detail the precise nature of the situations you want to create for yourself in the future.