Dateline: New YorkThe owner of a Mexican restaurant in NYC’s Park Slope is offering a 10 percent stake in the business to anyone who walks in the door—so long as they’re capable of devouring a 30-pound burrito. Don Chingon owner Vic Robey has created the “Don Chingon Challenge”—a burrito described by the New York Daily News as looking like “a large toddler.” The steak-chicken-pork-rice-avocado-cheese burrito weighs in with an estimated 25,000 calories and costs $150. If you finish it all in one sitting—including the salsa—you get a cut of the restaurant’s business. According to the official rules, “any bathroom breaks or discharge of bodily fluids of any kind will result in forfeit.” The current world record for burrito-eating sits at 14.25 pounds.Dateline: FloridaAccording to the Bradenton Herald, a drunk driving suspect who led authorities on a high-speed chase before he was arrested told deputies his dog was the one who was driving. A deputy in Manatee County spotted 26-year-old Reliford Cooper III driving at a high rate of speed on the evening of Wednesday, Oct. 7. After driving through at least two ditches, Cooper allegedly crashed his car into a house and fled on foot to a nearby church. Churchgoers forced Cooper out and he was arrested. According to the police report, Cooper smelled of alcohol and burnt marijuana. He also told arresting officers, “I wasn’t driving that car.” The police report went on to note “Reliford continued to ramble without being questioned.” While offering deputies his unsolicited report on the evening’s activities, he told them “My dog was driving that car. I ran cause I wanted to. You ain’t gonna find no drugs or guns on me.” Despite ratting out his canine companion, Cooper was charged with DWI with damage to property, aggravated fleeing with injury or damage, leaving the scene of a crash with property damage and resisting arrest.Dateline: ConnecticutA jury deliberated less than 30 minutes before dismissing the case of 54-year-old human resources manager Jennifer Connell, who was suing her 12-year-old nephew for hugging her too hard. Connell was trying to sue Sean Tarala for $127,000 based on an incident that happened at the boy’s 8th birthday party back in 2011. According to Connell, she arrived at the party to find the boy playing outside with a new bicycle. When he saw her, the excited boy ran toward his aunt to greet her. “All of a sudden he was there in the air. I had to catch him and we tumbled onto the ground,” Connell said in court, according to the Connecticut Post. “I remember him shouting, ‘Auntie Jen, I love you’, and there he was flying at me.” Connell claims she fell to the ground because of the happy hug and broke her wrist, although she never told anyone at the party. “It was his birthday party and I didn’t want to upset him.” According to the lawsuit, “the injuries, losses and harms to the plaintiff were caused by the negligence and carelessness of the minor defendant in that a reasonable eight year old under those circumstances would know or should have known that a forceful greeting such as the one delivered by the defendant to the plaintiff could cause the harms and losses suffered by the plaintiff.” While in court Connell said she suffered from lingering wrist pain. “I was at a party recently and it was difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvres plate,” she testified. As noted in the Post, “Sean, whose mother died last year, appeared confused as he sat with his father, Michael Tarala, in court.” Obviously the jury was not sympathetic to Connell’s pain and suffering, deliberating only 25 minutes and awarding her $0 in compensation.Dateline: FloridaA 23-year-old woman was arrested after web-streaming her DUI live on the internet. Whitney Beall, left a party in Lakeland on the night of Oct. 9. According to police she was intoxicated and should not have been driving. They know this because Beall used her cell phone to live stream her drive home via broadcasting service Periscope. “I’m fucking drunk,” she declares on the broadcast, audibly slurring her words. She also notes several times that her vehicle has a flat tire. In a Facebook post, Lakeland PD says it “began receiving 911 calls from viewers of Periscope about a possible drunk driver using the social media app Periscope to broadcast herself.” The post goes on to note that, “as a result of the video being streamed worldwide, numerous text messages were sent to the driver asking her to stop driving before she killed someone or herself.” The Lakeland Police Department said it does not provide officers “access to Periscope as an authorized software tool,” but one officer used his personal account to locate the driver. Based on his observations, the officer eventually found Beall driving her 2015 Toyota—complete with flat front tire—eastbound on Carpenter’s Way. As the officer approached, Beall’s vehicle “abruptly hit the south curb with the right front tire/wheel.” The driver failed standardized field sobriety tests, refused to take a breathalyzer test and was arrested on charges of DUI.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
