Bad Doggie

Steven Robert Allen
2 min read
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Let's just say I'm not exactly on the cutting edge of contemporary fashion. I have the same reaction to shopping for clothes as ordinary people might have to getting a colonoscopy. It unnerves me, to say the least.

Of course, I can't walk around naked. Society, and winter, won't allow it. So, when my last crop of clothes started turning to rags, I gritted my teeth and hit the stores, purchasing a lovely new pair of stylish shoes, among other things.

How did I know these shoes were stylish, given my limited fashion sense? Because Alibi Art Director Tom Nayder wears the exact same pair, and he's one of the most fashion-savvy people I've ever met.

Sadly, I'd only worn the shoes for a mere two weeks, when my new evil puppy, Tiny Teigh, chewed the heel off one of them, transforming it from a shoe to a slipper in a matter of minutes. Damn you, Tiny Teigh!

I'm still going to wear them, though. With any luck, the kids will catch on to my new look—one shoe intact, the other looking like its backside was blown off by a landmine.

Sharp, baby.

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