“Cut Here”

Marisa Demarco
2 min read
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I just bought a shirt. It’s an OK shirt. Not really my usual style, so I put off wearing it. Today was the shirt’s first day out.

All day I’m wearing it. Something’s nagging me. There’s kind of an itch happening on the side of my torso. But it’s not the kind of thing you do something about immediately. It’s just, you know, annoying.

Finally, I flip the hemline over and discover a tag. It’s big, cardboard-like. It reads “Remove Before Washing or Wearing.” That’s it. That’s all it says. It has a dotted line and a “cut here.”

How much money do you think Old Navy spent putting this tag on each and every shirt, a tag, that by all appearances, exists entirely for the purpose of its eventual removal?

There has to be some kind of conspiracy afoot. Maybe the tagmakers are in bed with the shirtmakers who are cozy with the government and somehow they’re all screwing taxpayers. Maybe the tag contains an electronic device that identifies me every time I walk into an Old Navy. Except that’s no good, because you take the sucker off before “washing or wearing.”

Maybe it’s just freaking stupid.
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