Dtv: The “D” Is For Dong

Maren Tarro
2 min read
DTV: The ÒDÓ Is for Dong
Watch the promo for this set (featuring the “Fireman’s Pump”) [url][/url][xurl].
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I spent most of last week watching endless reruns of “House” on TV. Seriously, my couch has a nice set of ass prints to prove it. Unfortunately, the USA network decided to change things up a bit and switch from my favorite self-centered doc to “NCIS.” Total bummer.

As I flipped through the channel guide, things got worse. There was nothing else on. All my fallback channels were airing boring crap like “The World’s Busiest Uterus” or “The Fascinating History of Ball Bearings.” This caused me to consider lesser watched networks that I usually flip past as quickly as possible. Listed right after pay-per-view are several infomercial and home shopping channels. In desperation I gave them a once over and was about to give up when something caught my eye. On DTV, I spied a program titled
Shop Erotic. How could I not tune in?

Turns out Shop Erotic is a home shopping program featuring a plethora of pleasure-based products. Viewers with their phones and credit cards handy can easily and discreetly shop for dildos, vibrators, butt plugs and penis pumps—all from the comfort of their couches.

Hosted by two respectable young ladies, one who informed the television audience she prefers glass dildos because she likes how hard they are, each product is vividly described, complete with usage tips and performance reviews. They even offer package deals like

To make things even more convenient and discreet for those in the market for a naughty toy or two, separate numbers are provided for men and women so you can order confidently place your order with someone of the same sex.

If only I had discovered this show before Christmas …

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