"I Saw You" With Your Biceps Bulging

Who Saw? Who Was Seen? Was It You?

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I saw you at FYE—Cottonwood Mall

Hey handsome, I saw you working at FYE. You were quite handsome! Your beard only covering your chin and your glasses magnifying your eyes. You’re not very tall, but nor am I. In fact I’m very short, with brunette curls. just wanted to say, You’re Super cute and I hope we can get together some time … ;] I shall drop by and say hello sometime.

NYE—Missing Phone

We met at Effex downtown and you gave me a ride part of the way home. You kept insisting you had a girlfriend, which I totally respect now that I’m sober. I would like to get my phone back. I believe I left it in your car. It does have tracking software, so it can be located, I would just like to have it returned withouth involving the authorities. Thanks!

In the Kitchen

I live to watch you shine the walls, your biceps bulging from your rolled black sleeves. Your voice is like a bird, I long for you to sing me to sleep. Your spatulas, your tongs, your knives … oh what we could do. You can toast my bagel any day. Love, you know who.

Academy Acres Cat person

You are totally oblivious to your poor cat(s)’s suffering at very low temperatures. Add to that nearby spotted bob cats, coyotes, and hungry owls! I wanted to let you know your fat kitchen cats are eating food meant for a wandering homeless yellow cat. Feed your cat(s) at least before you put them out, you heartless buzzard! And if your cat(s) fall prey to a predator, don’t go on TV professing pain, you cold-hearted jackass. May the fleas of 1,000 camels feast on your nether regions!
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