Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free::
Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
Yesterday afternoon, my husband and I returned home to find a large object on our front porch: a giant, two-person baby carriage, all folded up for transport. There was also a recently half-eaten apple in the first stages of rot. This, I’ve concluded, is the weirdest thing that you could find on your doorstep. Now, there are all kinds of things that are intentionally weird that could be left in front of someone’s door. For example, in grad school my best friend Josh woke up to find on his front step a paper plate with a fried egg and the word ‘Accusatory’ written under it in ketchup. That was weird and led to all kinds of fun detective work. Turns out it was the girl his roommate had just broken up with, and she and her arty friends exacted late night, drunken revenge. Weird, but engineered to be weird. Baby carriage? We have no babies nor baby plans. No one who lives near us has any babies. We also don’t live near a thoroughfare where someone would just dump it. And if it was left with care, which it clearly was, even for someone else and it made its way to our house as a mistake, why leave a half-eaten apple?