Meet Sharky

An Exploration Of Our Little-Read Staffblock

Simon McCormack
2 min read
Sharky’s place of business
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Sharky’s Credit Shack

Believe it or not, even the
Alibi needs a little help paying the bills from time to time. Frankly, we don’t buy into those high-rate loan companies. no matter how many times Mr T calls us fools. Instead, when the Alibi is strapped for cash, we place a call to our valued business associate Sharky over at Sharky’s Credit Shack. Sharky isn’t the kindest of predatory lenders, but when we need dough in a pinch, Sharky’s our man.

He isn’t much of a talker, but Sharky is fond of repeating his company’s slogan, "payday is fucking payday." Our publisher found that out the hard way when he didn’t have enough money to cover the 3,000 percent interest rate Sharky imposes on his customers.

"I gave him a pretty good beatin’," Sharky recalls. "I’ve never seen a client bleed that bad."

Vicious walloping aside, Sharky is a simple man who, quite honestly doesn’t like to answer a lot of questions. When I enquired as to what Sharky’s zodiac sign was, for example, he promptly shot back "you’re a bitch." After a few failed attempts to glean even the most superficial of information from the "Sharkster" as he hates to be called, I gave up and am now fairly certain I will soon be on the receiving end of one of Sharky’s trademark ‘beatin’s.’

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