Meet The Alibi Staff

An Exploration Of Our Little-Read Staffblock

Laura Marrich
2 min read
Ben and his prosthetic shnoz.
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Historic Battle Re-enactment:

Col. Benjamin Mustard

Col. Benjamin Mustard, the
Alibi ‘s chief historic battle expert, fondly recalls losing his nose while re-enacting the duel between astronomer Tycho Brahe and fellow Danish nobleman Manderup Parsbjerg. "I lost by a nose!" (He does historic duel re-enactment on the side, just to keep things interesting.)

He claims his calling card is accuracy, unlike the "other hacks" that "pollute" the historic re-enactment business. (Don’t get him started on the Society for Creative Anachronism.) As such, he’s come close to dying 11 times—cannon blasts, rapier wounds (the nose thing), trampling by horses, etc.

He takes great pleasure in thwarting death at close range, but when it’s his time to go, Col. Mustard says he’d like to shuffle off the mortal coil like his hero, Admiral John Byng. Admiral Byng was the most senior British officer in history to be executed by firing squad. He was shot on March 14, 1757, at Portsmouth. His crime was "failing to do his utmost" in an encounter with the French fleet during the Seven Years’ War.

Col. Mustard says he’d like people around the office to call him "Ol’ Ironsides," but we prefer to stick with "Ben." His favorite battle to re-enact is any naval skirmish of the Crimean War, although the cost is prohibitive. He’s a virgo.
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