Most Humorous Bills

Jessica Cassyle Carr
2 min read
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Here’s a look at some of the more obscure bills introduced in the Legislative Session that concluded last week. None of these passed. This doesn’t even include the hundreds of movements, some for things like “Ronald Reagan Day.” For more on the bills, go to the New Mexico Legislature's website:

HB69, South Valley Graffiti Detective: Maybe he’ll wear a cape, smoke a pipe, use a magnifying glass and throw down a wicked tag.

HB202, Ban Aspartame in Food Products: Perhaps the people who eat this creepy “food” deserve what it does to their health. This country could stand to be injected with a little Darwinism.

HB232, State Cowboy Song: I wish it were Willie Nelson’s new gay cowboy song:

HB273, Removal of Partially Consumed Wine Bottles: There will be no removal of full or empty wine bottles; only those that have been partially consumed can be removed by the state.

HB 374, School Bus Safety Competition: What, did too many arms get chopped off last year?

HB523, Homeland Security Playas Training Center: Mike: “What up playa?” Diego: “Just doin’ some homeland security training with my dawgs!”

HB673, Taxation of “Moist Snuff”: If you look at this wrong it reads taxation of “moist stuff.” Gross.

HB 721, Sunday Alcohol Sales at 11 a.m.: Finally. Finally.

HB 806, Market and Advertise Santa Fe-Area Golf: Soooo, taxpayers are supposed to help lure rich people to our state to play golf amidst a water crisis.

SB 224, Water Project Act Funds For Original Purpose: This bill gets the award for most esoteric.

SB 324, Gender Neutral Language in State Legislation: I suppose this would ban terms like “broads” and “dames.”

SB 655, Livestock Premises Info Confidentiality: It sounds like someone’s lobbying to keep the conditions on corporate feed lots quiet. Mad Cow, anyone?

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