Mysterious Beeping

Steven Robert Allen
1 min read
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My friend Robert has developed a strange problem over the last week or so. Every time he walks in or out of any store with one of those contraptions designed to prevent young punks from shoplifting, he beeps. It's really starting to unnerve him. He can remove his wallet, his keys, his necklace, his glasses, his cellphone—everything. And he still beeps. It doesn't matter which clothes he wears. Last night, I even watched him go through the entrance of Walgreen's without his shoes on. He still beeped.

Robert thinks there are two likely explanations for this: 1) the CIA implanted a microchip in his neck while he was sleeping to keep track of his movements; 2) he was abducted by aliens and implanted with a similar device for a similar purpose. I think, and hope, there's a more logical explanation. Any ideas? Send them to, and I will forward them to my unfortunate friend.ÃÃ

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