Oh Crap

Steven Robert Allen
1 min read
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Despite the fact that a bird just took a crap on me, I’m having a pretty good day. In contrast to the first time a bird dunged on me, this was a relatively stress-free experience. First off, this time around, the bird let loose on my shirt. It wasn’t voluminous. And clean-up was relatively simple.

My previous experience with being splattered with bird crap came as a freshman in high school when a big hunkin’ pile of goo dropped down on top of my head. At first I thought it was an acorn. When I inspected the impact zone with my fingertips, however, I immediately realized my mistake: embarrassing to the point of traumatic. I didn’t tell a soul until many years later.

Here’s a web game where I got imaginary revenge on the bird that crapped on me.

Here’s a place where you can buy bird crap stickers—much more sanitary than the real thing.

Finally, here are some really lame bird crap comics.

Eyes to the skies, people. It’s dangerous out there.
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