On Costumes And So Forth

Robert Masterson
2 min read
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It’s hard to tell these days whether our elected leaders have been reading too much Machievelli or too much Mein Kampf. I just wanted to write that because of the alliteration. Anyway, Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize the other day and it’s a helluva day when a guy named “Al” wins a Nobel Prize. And Dick Cavett’s essay about dressing like a seafood waiter to play a little trick on Richard Nixon made me laugh out loud. Twice.

But the real topic burning my gut is dressing pets up for Halloween. My sister-in-law has a little Norwegian dog called a Skipper Keys or something that sounds like Skipper Keys and she has the thing dressed up like a hot-dog for the holiday. Does the dog know that it is now in disguise, that when people look at him they will think first of the hot dog and then of the dog? I’m wondering what my cat would think if I bought her a tuna costume and made her wear it. Not much, I would imagine and, without a lengthy and expensive de-clawing procedure, I’m not prepared to find out.

But I do like the idea of dressing my pets as things they would eat. Seems better than the current trend of ultra-sexy costumes for adults. The other day, I had occasion to poke my head into a little shop selling costumes and, truly, it was no different than any other store selling stripper/hooker gear. I don’t know what men are dressing as these days, but women seem to be expected to dress like sexy nurses, sexy witches, sexy cats, sexy cops, sexy mental patients, and sexy zombies. It was nothing but wall-to-wall g-strings and fishnets.

So, this year, look for us trick-or-treating. I’ll be the dad waiting at the sidewalk, Anna will be the super-hot, sexy fully licensed real estate broker, and all the pets will be dressed as various flavors of Purina chow.
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