Snack Attack No. 12

Pizza Hut’s Lasagna Pizza

Jennifer Wohletz
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2 min read
Evil Sicilian sh**t
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Pizza chain employees just don’t give a s**t. Only the naïve could imagine a place and time where a smiling employee took a phone order, the food arrived in a hot, timely and accurate (maybe pick one) manner and there was peace and happiness throughout the land. Instead you get an experience akin to four hours at the MVD, or worse.

Case in point: I was excited to see a new pizza on the market, and despite my bevy of prior bad dealings with Pizza Hut, I decided to order it anyway. I called the one on Wyoming at 11 a.m. on a weekday and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. I called one of the other stores to see if maybe that one had been held up by bandits. They told me to keep trying and that I’d get through eventually. Nice. At 11:41 a.m. I placed an order for the new pizza, wings, a family salad and a bottle of soda. At 12:45 p.m. I called back to see if my order had been eaten by bandits. They said they’d be right there. Nice. At 1:02 p.m. the food arrived, sans wings, and with the pizza cold and a bag salad mix that I could have bought at Smith’s. Nice.

I zapped the pizza and had a slice or two. It was good, with extra sauce, extra cheese, hamburger topping, circles of ricotta and a nice herb crust. Not bad. I was tempted to call Pizza Hut to complain, but I was advised against it on the grounds of possible retaliation during future orders. Later that night (and early into the next morning) my family and I began to feel ill. Then we were ill. I won’t overshare too much, but I will say that soft serve ain’t just at DQ sometimes. In short, I will never do that again, because the employees may not give a s**t, but I gave quite a few. If you really want to web ‘em, do it at www.pizzahut.com.
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