Snack Attack No. 4

Chocolatey Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch

Jennifer Wohletz
2 min read
Still crunchy after all these years.
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Ahhh, Cap’n Crunch. It’s a childhood favorite, while at the same time the bane of parents and general dentistry. These sweet, crunchy joy nuggets have added yet another flavor selection to their pantheon of amply-sweetened corny-oat classics.

I will admit I’m a sucker for any new food or beverage. For example, I was the first person in my circle to try toaster pastries, I knew about those microwave crispy Ore-Ida fries before everyone else and I was eating Lunchables before they were cool. So when I caught wind that our buddies at Quaker Oats decided to expand on their staple peanut butter crunch, I was first in line to purchase a box of the new Chocolatey Peanut Butter Crunch.

I took my prize home and poured the first bowl with excitement brewing, while my stomach was preparing itself for the inevitable rush of sugar-coated carbs. I was not disappointed; the little round pellets alternated between slightly waxy chocolate coating and those nice dry peanut balls.
“Suck on my chocolate, salty balls, put ‘em in your mouth and suck ‘em and suck ‘em.” Who doesn’t love Southpark? Anyway, I was surprised to see that food technology has developed to the point that cereal coating no longer bleeds into the milk like it used to, and my 2-percent was almost completely clear when the balls had been assimilated. Tasty? Oh Yeah. Good for you? Well … I scanned the ingredients (you all do it—admit it) where I found the predictable dose of coconut oil and buttpile of sugar, but also a weird aberration—blue #1 and #2, and red #40. The cereal is neither red nor blue, and I am always a little leery of anything that took 40 tries to get right. Buy them, but at least use the recommended skim milk to counter the sucrose dose.

Sit up on your chicken legs for next week’s blog, when I dissect KFC’s new “layers of flavors” dinner bowl.
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