The Daily Word In Obama On Martin, Geraldo Being A Moron, Lots Of Snakes

Sam Adams
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1 min read
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President Obama: “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.”

In related news,
Geraldo Rivera is saying really dumb shit … again.

American Army Staff Sgt. Robert Bales will be charged with
17 counts of murder for the Afghani massacre.

Two young men
shot and killed in the Unser and Arenal area.

Advancing from last night’s
NCAA Sweet Sixteen games: Syracuse, Ohio State, Florida and Louisville.

Thirty-seven venomous reptiles found at apartment complex. For a great quote, skip to the 1-minute mark, wherein “Albuquerque Animal Control says the animal surrendered his animals.” Of course, that prompts the question, What would Brian Fellow say?

Drunk man calls police because his drunk wife
wouldn’t go to sleep while he was Facebooking.

Famous people read hate mail over R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts.”

In today’s fuzzy, feel-good news,
teenage hopeless romantic asks porn stars to prom.

Whitney Houston’s death ruled as
accidental drowning.

Obama elects
Dartmouth president to head World Bank.

Man arrested for
doin’ drunken doughnuts on a tractor.

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