The Incredible One-Headed Transplant

Nick Brown
1 min read
Mr. Brown’s New Nose (Courtesy of Birdchick)
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There’s an old joke where a guy has an elephant’s trunk surgically attached in place of his penis, which was lost in a tragic ice-skating accident. At a restaurant on his first post-surgery date, the elephant trunk snakes up onto the table, grabs a dinner roll and hauls it back over the edge. The man grunts and bulges his eyes. “That was amazing,” his date exclaims. “Can you do that again?”

“I think so,” he replies, “but I don’t know if I can fit another dinner roll up my rectum.”

Anyway, the Chinese (proud manufacturers of every material item I own) have successfully performed the world’s first penis transplant. Sadly, the new member was rejected not by his body, but by his wife and his own confused psyche. It’s interesting how psychology can throw a fatal monkey wrench into the greatest of scientific achievements.

This realization has led me to reconsider my own plans of having a horny toad head sewn onto the end of my nose. Because what if I decided I didn’t like it?
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