The Strangest Billboard Ever

Christie Chisholm
2 min read
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Where have all the ugly kids gone? Apparently, they've been relegated to the interstate. Poor saps. I'm not being cruel; I'm just commenting on the new billboard that's popped up on I-25 (between Jefferson and San Mateo), advertising … ugly kids? I caught a glimpse of the thing the other day while on my way to a fabulous little Mexican chicken shack in the North Valley, Rincon Del Pollo, and it nearly knocked the inexplicable craving for shredded meat out of me. For your viewing pleasure, I've attached a photo.

The only explanation provided for this slightly offensive enigma was a website, so when I got back to the office (stuffed to the gills with cheese and green chile) I punched it into my browser. To my dismay, the advertised website,, didn't exist. But did. This site is apparently a mishmash of the scandalous and bizarre, claiming to be a place to find “What you need, when you need it.” Apparently, a lot of people are desperately searching out penis enlargers and Christian singles events, which both appear as some of the most popular searches. The section headers for the site include: “Paris Hilton,” “Thongs,” “Penis” and “Mormon.” Oh, and, of course, “Ugly Kids.” So very strange.

Out of insatiable curiosity, I tried the original website (.info) again today to see if, just by chance, it existed after all. It does. The real website for the billboard is still under construction (which explains why I couldn't find it last week), and therefore not in any way interactive, but it appears to be even stranger than the first website—serving as some sort of forum for people who have ugly kids. I don't even know what to say about that. It just gives me the jitters.

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