Alibi V.28 No.51 • Dec 19-25, 2019 

Strain Corner

Year In Review

Our favorite dispensaries and strains

It's been a wild year for all of us. The world seems to be falling apart outside our windows, and all we can do is sink further into our nests while watching another season of “Friends” on Netflix. The Constant War rages on, quantum computers trade information with parallel universes and you're still paying for cable. We cry to God, Krishna, Quetzalcoatl and Superman for deliverance, but a voice from Heaven just answers: “Hold on a minute. I want to see where this thing is going.”

Thank goodness we have cannabis. While the world was degenerating into a microtransaction farming game, we relied on our favorite strains and dispensaries to get us through the madness of 2019.

Favorite Strains

Tangie
Tangie—This tasty strain is bright and citrusy. A classic sativa-dominant, Tangie is perfect fare for anyone approaching cannabis to treat depression or anxiety. The taste and smell alone are enough to brighten your day. As the name implies, Tangie smells like a tangerine hippie fantasy that can bring an immediate smile to fans of citrus and candy. It notably improves mood and can induce extreme fits of giggling. It's also been known to make people very talkative so keep that in mind before placing flame to bud.

Harle Tsu
Harle Tsu—Low-THC, high-CBD strains are finally starting to catch people's attention. Blasting into outer space on a THC rocket ship isn't always practical. And for patients suffering from epileptic seizures, getting high doses of CBD is crucial for their health. But there still aren't a ton of varieties out there. Harle Tsu is a classic CBD strain that is known for its sweet flavor profile and soothing effects. It can tame anxiety and pain, leaving patients feeling refreshed and calm. This strain is great for those needing relief from inflammation.

GSC
Girl Scout Cookies—The best hybrids on the market are still Girl Scout Cookies and its derivatives. It tastes as sweet as its name would have you believe and smells comfortingly earthy. The effects of this incredible strain are what make it stand out, though. Relieves pain? Check. Battles inflammation? Check. Enhances mood? Check-o-roony. This strange hybrid has the power to relax patients' bodies while leaving their minds sharp and focused and their dispositions sunny.

Gorilla Glue
Gorilla Glue—Strap in for nap time. This strain gives you a gorilla hug and refuses to let go until you're a drooling mess staining the couch. Its heady powers are legendary. Expect to be turned into a staring zombie with nothing useful to say. This strain is perfect for those suffering from insomnia, headaches and chronic pain. It also pairs well with daytime talk shows.

Favorite Dispensaries

Urban Wellness—Urban Wellness still has the smartest budtenders in the city. They're well-versed in the confusing (and ever-changing) world of cannabis medicine, and they'll never feed you a line of crap. We've had some pretty candid conversations with these lovely people, and they definitely know what they're talking about. You're unlikely to ever hear anyone say that THC “eats cancer” (something we heard at a cannabis conference once), reverses aging (something we heard at a dispensary once) or makes you fart rose petals.

Cannaceutics—Cannaceutics has undergone some great renovations over the last couple years. But one thing they didn't need to change was the quality of their product. They've been offering consistent flower and oil for a while now, and a fervently loyal customer base has been their reward. They always offer a unique variety of strains to choose from and practice some of the best handing practices in the biz (a rarity, unfortunately). Frequent daily walk-in specials make it easy and affordable to keep your personal collection of top-shelf strains well-stocked.

CG—One of our favorite places to spend those hard-earned dollars is CG. Their pricing continues to be the best in town, and their strain list is always robust and varied. You might get stuck in line from time to time, but that's because everyone is breaking their necks to get there—always! Don't fret, though. The staff here are fast, friendly and professional—and they know how to get a line moving, so you won't be waiting long.

Verdes Foundation—While shopping around town for meds, it isn't uncommon to get the feeling that you're being taken for a ride. You'll get a slick budtender who will tell you whatever you want to hear just to get that big sale. Well, Verdes is the rare spot that treats patients like people instead of dollar signs. They have some of the kindest and most knowledgeable staff in the area. And they also do a pretty good job of rotating their list of available strains regularly, which keeps things interesting and novel.

Southwest Wellness Center—If you're concerned with quality, make sure to visit Southwest Wellness Center. While the price tags can sometimes be a little high, you'll get what you pay for and never feel ripped off. And they also host some whoppers when it comes to sales—so sign up to get notifications if price is an issue. Even their clearance flower is better than most “high shelf” bud around here these days! Either way it's worth it to treat yourself to some of the best flower in the whole state.

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