Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
5 min read
The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws told our presidential candidates what’s what last week.In a petition to both President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden, NORML reminded the candidates that the majority of their constituents—on all the points of the spectrum—want cannabis legalization immediately.“Never in modern history has there existed greater public support for ending the nation’s nearly century-long experiment with marijuana prohibition,” wrote the petition’s authors. “According to nationwide polling data provided by Gallup, 67 percent of Americans support legalizing and regulating the adult-use of marijuana, including outright majority support from Democrats, Republicans, and Independents.”Just last week we analyzed why Biden was breaking his back to kick himself in the seat over cannabis legalization. Our conclusion was that he hates weed so much that he just can’t help himself. The fear of an America overrun with hippy dope smokers is just too intense for him. The stress makes him woozy, and if anyone catches him taking another mid-afternoon nap, he can just forget about November.As for Trump: The old vaude-villain has always been cagey about his real feelings regarding legalization. I’ve always suspected that he was holding off on making a commitment to his “real feelings” while his donors decided on theirs. In the meantime he’ll stick his finger out the car window, feel the way the wind is blowing and then makes a noncommittal comment on the side of “states’ rights” or “law and order”—whatever will get him trending on Twitter at that moment.I wouldn’t be surprised if he legalized cannabis next week, just to make a stab at Biden. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he announced a nationwide, old-fashioned jackboot party and sent the military in to shut down all the dispensaries with extreme prejudice. I likewise wouldn’t be surprised to see him on live television, naked and slathered in ice cream, demanding to see Obama’s birth certificate—“the real one.” It’s been that kind of year.NORML’s petition seems a little too reasonable in this light. “That is why we call on the two major party candidates to support the following changes in federal marijuana policy: Deschedule. Expunge. Reinvest.”The petition calls on the candidates to completely remove cannabis from the list of scheduled substances, to review and potentially expunge low-level federal- and state-level cannabis convictions and to ensure that a portion of the revenue made from cannabis sales be reinvested into communities that have been adversely affected by draconian cannabis laws.Let’s see if Biden or Trump even bother to read it.In the meantime Democratic US Sen. Ed Markey reportedly promised the Young Jurks’ Mike Crawford that if the Dems take the Senate in November, they’ll legalize cannabis with or without Biden.“From my perspective, this is another issue that’s just right there on the ballot in November,” Crawford said on the podcast. “We’ll move very quickly in January to change [cannabis] laws to make sure that there are national protections which are put in place. But unfortunately, Trump controls the discretionary use of these personnel, and they’re kind of committed to keeping this crazy non-scientifically based analysis of marijuana front-and-center.”