Baked Goods: Sugar High

Try The Sweet Stuff

Rini Grammer
5 min read
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I’m trying to stay away from sugar (as you may remember from our last interaction, dear readers) and it’s not exactly going according to plan. I had a donut when I woke up today and then a cheese danish on my way to work. I don’t regret it—they both were tasty and made me happy. The sugar resurgence started when I decided to try some chocolates from Minerva Canna Group located in the North Valley. After a 25 minute drive from Downtown, I pulled into a bumpy dirt parking lot and followed the signs to the dispensary. I was greeted at the front door, then instructed to fill out a registration form and wait for my budtender in the lobby.

I hoped they would take their time so I could take a brief nap because I’m the kind of person who’s okay with sleeping in public now (I guess?). By budtender Tim was very speedy and excited to help me, though, and I was happy to have assistance from someone who obviously enjoys their job. Tim showed me around the shop: They have a growing center where you can buy equipment if you have your Personal Production License (PPL), and it was noted the person in charge of that part of the business is a wealth of knowledge concerning all gardening. Next I saw their “Lifestyle Store” where patients can buy pipes, bongs (Tim told me I don’t have to call them “Water Pipes,” here), vaporizers, rolling papers, cleaning products, etc. and finally I was taken into the homeroom of the dispensary. As I entered, I saw two display cases showcasing strains and a wall of edibles. Tim also informed me that patients registered with their business can call anytime during the week and have anything put on hold, and as long as they are able to pick it up by Saturday, it’s guaranteed that they will be saved for them.

I’ve never seen so many edibles in my life, and half of the inventory was gone (they get stocked Tuesdays and Thursdays, I was there on a Wednesday). Reddit told me Minerva had a good variety of edibles, too, but I wasn’t prepared for so many options. They have chocolate bars, oils, butter, gummies, brownies, cheesecake, drinks, truffles, peanut butter cups, teas and probably more.

After Tim showed me the strains I was interested in, I ended up choosing the sativa
B*Witched strain (THC: 16.93%, CBD: 0.18%, $10/gram). He made a point to choose the most dense bud for me so I could get my money’s worth. After that, we focused on the only kind of wall America should build—the wall o’ edibles. Like I said, I was impressed with the number of products even though it was clearly less than half of their inventory. Tim walked me through their “limited” selection, and I decided on the Sea Salt Caramel Truffle (THC: 10mg, $3.50) and their dark chocolate CBD candy (CBD: 10mg, $3.50).

Saturday night I set myself up with “Documentary Now,” and ate the delightful dark chocolate truffle. The center was smooth caramel (that didn’t stick to my teeth), topped with a pinch of sea salt. Generally speaking, I consider myself a lightweight, so I was surprised when I hardly felt any effects from the candy. I did feel a slight body high but not much else. When I realized nothing was really happening, I decided to have some of the
Honey Bananas (THC: 21%, CBD: 0.04%, $11.50/gram) sativa dominant strain I got from Verdes when I went last.

In addition to the microbial analysis results, the label read, “Happy – Relax – Euphoric.” The feeling I got from the strain as I consumed it reminded me of when I first started my journey with this medicinal plant as a teenager. I was indeed happy, relaxed and euphoric! As I inhaled the scent of the package I noticed the sweet, banana-like scent of the sticky flower. The burdens of my mind melted away as I cozied up to continue watching the newest season of “Documentary Now,” and soon was able to wind down enough to fall into a peaceful slumber.

The following Monday, I decided to try the CBD candy—a dark chocolate shaped like a peanut butter cup with some kind of nut in the middle. I had forgotten how much CBD edibles affect me—sure it’s just CBD but it’s ridiculous how much it relaxes me. It only took me 20 minutes to feel the effects, and when it hit me I absolutely had to lay down and take a nap. (I may have needed a nap before but that’s neither here nor there.) And I was up less than 30 minutes later reading
A Little Life. However, I had a hard time bringing myself to do much of anything else the rest of the evening. I could focus my mind but as soon as I stood up my body would quietly moan for me to lay down and rest. On second thought, folks who work out regularly could benefit from this forced bodily rest, because I don’t know about y’all but if I could, I would work out every day and that is not healthy. I digress.

The workers at Minerva Canna Group obviously care about providing a variety of methods for the varying needs of the medicinal cannabis patients. At no point did my budtender claim to know what was best for me, he insisted that I think critically about my experience with cannabis and how it works for me, as well as what works best for me. He offered suggestions along the way but he did help me feel empowered to make my own medical choices. I plan on visiting that wall of edibles again, more empowered than ever.

Minerva Canna Group, Inc

7103 Fourth Street, Bldg M

(505) 888-2699

Hours: Mon-Fri 10am-7pm, Sat 10am-4pm

First-time freebies: Yes

Verdes Foundation

6005 Coronado NE, Ste A

(505) 280-2814

Hours: Mon-Fri 10am-5:30pm, Sat 10am-4pm

First-time freebies: Yes

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