Let’s play out some scenarios. It’s December 23. Your long-forgotten uncle has returned from his trip to Antarctica, and you have two days to get him the ultimate gift. You live in Midtown. He loves local flair, on account of all the penguins he chilled with for the last decade. Where do you go? Brotique 505. Home to tons of local creators, you’ll find a bit of everything you need here, including tons of themed shirts for men, women and babies in the $20 to $30 range. Get him the Chile Bear shirt, which features art that highlights our exquisite chile culture and love of bears. Does the sun get in his eyes? Does he love old license plates? Get him the Ahh Laa snapback hat ($30). Baking aficionado? They have New Mexico-shaped cookie cutters ($1 to $2). Has his beard grown dry and strange from the cold air? Pick up a DuBay Beard Oil ($20 to $25) to breathe new life into that crusty monster, and pair it with the DuBay Beard Wax ($8) to help him shape it into something extraordinary. Does he cry because his favorite restaurant closed during the 10 years he’s been gone? A La Llorona handkerchief ($10) is perfect to absorb those tears and honor the ghost that drowns children, everyone’s second-favorite holiday mystical being during Christmas (the first is vampire Santa Claus, who has gifts, but must be invited in.)
Longhair Records
New scenario; thanks for playing, Uncle. Your best friend was cryogenically frozen while delivering a pizza, but has now been mysteriously released. They were frozen in 1995 and are now on your doorstep three days before the big celebration. What do you do? Hit up LongHair Records to bring home the vintage that they crave. Most obvious would be something on vinyl, like Tupac Shakur’s Me Against The World; they can’t wait to see what he’s been up to since 1995. They never had a record player? What a poser! Get them a cassette tape instead! We recommend Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill, which covers all the songs they need to hear from her. What about giving them their favorite movie—which screened in theaters during their last cognizant days—even if they don’t want a DVD player? A VHS tape of Waterworld, the best thing Kevin Costner has ever done, is a perfect choice! Are they not ready for this vast collection of readily available media? It’s fine, just dig through the bookstore for a veritable treasure trove of books, the most timeless of all things. You could pick them up John Grisham’s The Rainmaker, which they heard exciting things about before they froze. Maybe they want to read Nicholas Evans’ The Horse Whisperer, for whatever reason. The point is that LongHair Records has your retro gifting fix.
A-1 Trophy Center
Final scenario: Best of luck assimilating into society; these past 25 years were something. Got someone in your life who’s amazing at everything but suffers from low self esteem. Honor their achievements—like being the best free-hand juggler you know with pomegranates and yo-yo’s—with a 9-inch Old West Log Plaque made with cottonwood for $33.75 from A-1 Trophy Center. It’s all the relevant info they need to recognize their own achievement on a single piece of wood. Let’s assume you have a friend with zero sporting talent, but a true love for watching them. Every sports lover’s home deserves a trophy. A Gold Medal Loving Cup with Silver Accent at 10 inches tall can be theirs for $30.60. Last one! For your friend with an award-winning dog—that award being “Most Uncomfortable Smile To Look At”—who always seems to be running late, on account of staring at their dog’s uncomfortable smile. Improve their life in two ways with the Rosewood Piano Finish Photo Desk Clock for $96, highlighting that smile that may leave you shifting in your seat but also allows you to easily see the time.
