Well, Keshet, of course!
Best Theatre Company
Tricklock—and not just because they are Keshet’s sister company but because they are responsible for starting revolutions! Well, that and the fact that Joe Pesce is such a hottie.
Best Musical Experience That Makes It Really Difficult to Stand Still on Wednesday and Thursday Nights
500 Second Street. But there’s a $5 cover and you should probably know something about drawing or painting from the figure.
Best Painter
Couldn’t possibly choose.(But I do have some serious soft spots for Duvian, Jeffri, Jeremy and Dennis. Check them out at the above musical experience.)
Best Sculptor
Randy Cooper. Who else do you know that sculpts shadows?
Best Tile Guy Who Does a Phenomenal Job, Has a Brilliant Idea for Bullet-Proof Dogwear and Is Good to His Mother
Jonathan Elliott, Elliott tile (and don’t try to race him on the natural runners either).
Best Korean Food
Fu Yuang. The kimchee is awesome and they don’t make fun of you when you order enough food for four people and then ask for extra rice.
Best Princess
Shira Greenberg.
Best Easy Water Soy Chai
Starbuck's, Nob Hill. I know, I know, imperialism and all. I’m just as against it as the next bleeding heart, pinko commie liberal artistic type, but there’s this really cute boy who works there and I think he might like me. (and of course, since we’re married, I’d get in a lot of trouble if I said anything about Whiting Coffee.)
Best Men’s Haircut
Nob Hill Barber Shop. I swear every day another man in my life spends an hour extolling the virtues of the marvelous Chani. But look out, her price is increasing by $1 next year.
Best Place to Get Sucked Into One of Those “The More You Buy the Cheaper It All Is” Sales
Viola and Co. Dropping $350 never felt so cheap.
Best Loud Scary Guy
Mark Scott. I’ll set a metal chair onstage for your mouse scaring tantrums any day.
Best Neighbor Who Puts Up with Your Dogs, Saves Your Life From Your Own Poor Motorcycle Maintenance, and Offers Promising Fashion Advice Over Mint Juleps To Die For
Timmy Ranney. Were you expecting competition in this category?
Best Porn Name on the Planet
Squeaky Bush. Yeah, she’s out there, hiding behind the clever façade of a professional business suit. But we all know.