Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
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May 26 The Hangover Part II —Once again, three bachelor-partying dudes (Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms) black out and wake up with a mystery on their hands—this time in Bangkok. Kung Fu Panda 2 (3D/2D)—Once again, a fat, computer-animated panda (voiced by Jack Black) fights the forces of evil, kung fu style.
May 27 Pom Wonderful Presents The Greatest Movie Ever Sold —Documentarian Morgan Spurlock ( Super Size Me ) sells his soul to investigate the world of product placement and corporate sponsorship.
June 3 Submarine —Ben Stiller “presents” this Welsh dramedy about a 15-year-old determined to lose his virginity and ruin his mom’s love life. X-Men: First Class —Marvel’s mutant superheroes return to the ’60s to fight the Cuban Missile Crisis in this period prequel.
June 10 Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer —A third-grade girl sets out to have the most thrilling summer of her life in this adaptation of Megan McDonald’s popular kiddy book series. Super 8 —Steven Spielberg produces, J.J. Abrams writes and directs this nostalgic tale of moviemaking kids in small-town America, circa 1979, who accidentally record the escape of a dangerous creature held captive by the U.S. government.
June 17 Green Lantern (3D/2D)—DC gets back in the comic book movie game with Ryan Reynolds as the earthling turned superpowered, space-faring law-enforcer. Midnight in Paris —Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams star in Woody Allen’s latest, European-lensed romantic comedy. Mr. Popper’s Penguins —Jim Carrey stars in this adaptation of the popular children’s book in which a New York businessman inherits six mischievous penguins. The Tree of Life —Director Terrence Malick ( Badlands, Days of Heaven ) contributes another slooooow rumination on life—this one set in the ’50s and starring Sean Penn and Brad Pitt.
June 24 A Better Life —A humble gardener in East L.A. struggles to keep his son away from gangs and immigration agents after his landscaping truck is stolen. Bad Teacher —A foul-mouthed, gold-digging junior high school teacher (Cameron Diaz) puts the moves on a sexy new substitute (Justin Timberlake). Cars 2 (3D/2D)—The four-wheeled friends from Pixar’s 2006 hit return. This time, they’re racing around Tokyo.
June 29 Transformers: Dark of the Moon (3D/2D)—Michael Bay spends what must be a measurable portion of our nation’s defense budget on yet another film about robots from outer space who pee and fart and have testicles.
July 1 Larry Crowne —America’s favorite actors, Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts, join forces for this timely comedy about a middle-aged man who loses his job and tries to reinvent himself by going back to college. Monte Carlo —Three young ladies (Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester, Katie Cassidy) vacationing in Europe are whisked off to Monte Carlo after one of them is mistaken for a British heiress.
July 8 Horrible Bosses —Three friends (Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis) pull a Strangers on a Train , conspiring to kill off each other’s awful employers in this black comedy. Zookeeper —Kevin James ( Paul Blart: Mall Cop ) is a zookeeper. The animals talk. There you go.
July 15 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (3D/2D)—The hugely popular book-turned-movie series comes to its magical explosion-filled conclusion. Winnie the Pooh —A.A. Milne’s eternally popular book series gets the respectful, 2D-animated treatment it so richly deserves from Disney.
July 22 Captain America: The First Avenger (3D/2D)—Marvel’s nonstop summer continues with this ’40s-set adaptation of the character that started it all, World War II Nazi-puncher Captain America. Friends With Benefits —No, it’s not a premature reboot of No Strings Attached . It’s just an identical movie with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.
July 24 Life in a Day —On July 24, 2010, thousands of people uploaded videos of their lives to YouTube. Now, it’s time to see it on the big screen—courtesy of National Geographic Films.
July 29 Cowboys & Aliens —The obscure comic book of the same name gets a multimillion-dollar upgrade with cowboys Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford fighting invading aliens in the Old West. Crazy, Stupid, Love. —Steve Carell, Marisa Tomei, Julianne Moore, Kevin Bacon, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone star in this ensemble cast comedy about a middle-aged divorcé who tries to navigate the singles scene with the help of a professional bachelor. The Smurfs (3D/2D)—A handful of CGI-animated Smurfs ends up at Neil Patrick Harris’ apartment in New York City. Call the exterminator.
August 5 The Change-Up —And you thought magical body-swap comedies died out in the late-’80s? Nope. Here, stressed-out dad Jason Bateman swaps bodies with swinging bachelor Ryan Reynolds. Hijinks ensue. Dirty Girl —In 1987, a wild-child teen (Julien Temple’s daughter Juno) runs away from home with a chubby gay kid, a bag of flour named Joan and a Walkman full of killer tunes. Rise of the Planet of the Apes —Is it a “reboot”? Is it a “prequel”? Who cares, so long as Tim Burton didn’t direct it. In this effects-heavy sci-fi thriller, we get to see how superintelligent apes took over the planet in the first place.
August 12 30 Minutes or Less —Two fledgling criminals (Danny McBride, Nick Swardson) kidnap a pizza delivery guy (Jesse Eisenberg), strap a bomb to his chest and force him to rob a bank. It’s a comedy. And sorta based on a true story. Final Destination 5 (3D/2D)—Stupid teens are dying in all sorts of stupid ways. Again. In 3D. Glee Live! 3D! (3D/2D) The kids from “Glee” sing. Live! In 3D! The Help —Kathryn Stockett’s mega-Oprah-approved novel about life in ’60s-era Mississippi among rich white folks and their poor black housekeepers comes to the silver screen with Sissy Spacek, Allison Janney, Emma Stone, Viola Davis and Cicely Tyson.
August 19 Conan the Barbarian (3D/2D)—Arnie’s had his hands full siring illegitimate children, so we get shirtless Jason Momoa (“Stargate: Atlantis”) to replace him. Fright Night (3D/2D)—The silly-fun 1985 vampire-next-door flick gets remade with Anton Yelchin as the dorky teen and Colin Farrell as the unneighborly bloodsucker. One Day —After hooking up at their college graduation, two would-be lovers (Anne Hathaway, Jim Sturgess) go their separate ways. The film (from the director of Italian for Beginners ) checks in on their lives—sometimes together, sometimes apart—for one day each year. Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (3D/2D)—Jessica Alba takes over Robert Rodriguez’ increasingly ridiculous series as a superspy-turned-supermom who comes back to work—baby in tow—to fight a world-conquering supervillain. Ricky Gervais voices a talking dog. The end is near.
August 26 Apollo 18 —The latest in Hollywood’s endless line of cheap, fake “found footage” horror flicks purports to tell the “true story” of what happened on the moon. Spoiler alert: Apparently, we found aliens. Colombiana —Where would Hollywood in general—and writer/producer/director Luc Besson ( La Femme Nikita ) in particular—be without sexy, sexy female assassins? Here, Zoe Saldana’s number comes up. Pick up your gun and your bikini at wardrobe, honey. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark —Guillermo del Toro ( Hellboy ) writes and produces this interesting remake … of a 1973 TV movie! Guy Pearce and Katie Holmes are the new homeowners plagued by tiny demons in their fireplace. Our Idiot Brother —An idealistic burnout (Paul Rudd) barges into the lives of his three sisters (Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer) after being released from jail.
August 31 The Debt —Shocking allegations hit a trio of retired Mossad agents (Hellen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson, Ciarán Hinds), causing them to recall the dangerous mission that started it all back in 1966 (when they were young and sexy and played by Jessica Chastain, Marton Csokas and Sam Worthington).
September 2 Shark Night 3D —Sharks attack. In 3D. … Hope you had a good summer.