Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
6 min read
Writing haiku sounds really, really simple, doesn’t it? The form is elementary: Just five, seven and five syllables, and wham-o, you’ve got a poem. It’s not as easy as it sounds, though. Since the early August announcement of this here contest, I’ve been trying to think up a congratulatory haiku for all the entrants and have come up with exactly nothing.Thankfully, you’re all better at this than I, and more than 400 of you submitted tiny poems over e-mail, snail mail and Twitter. Nice job, y’all. Obviously, we can’t publish all of them, so Alibi editors Laura Marrich and Marisa Demarco worked tirelessly with me, counting syllables on our fingers to pick the cream of the crop. The ones we’ve chosen as our faves in each category get a neat little package of prizes from Noah’s Ark Café, Pepper’s Ole’ Fashion BBQ, Chillz Frozen Custard and Guild Cinema. Haiku masters can swing by the Alibi (413 Central Nw) from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday to gather up their goodies.
“Death Poem” Half a cup of lifePlum blossoms littering theSudden April snow—Richard Fye
Single, nonsmokingdiabetic vampire seekshematologist.—Holly Hargrove
Goodwill Clearance StoreWhere everyone grabs for more.You’ll sure dig the bins!—Emily Severance
Red is my mistress,and Green is my wife. Christmassucks bizchochitos.—Kevin McGuire
“The Sallie Mae Experience” almost done, sign here,_________________now we own your ass—Sierra Netz
The road to Hell isPaved with good intentions andHas a nice bike path—Tony Santiago
wavy line asphaltthe pipe dream pushing peddlerlow rider dream songs—Angelica Sainz
Hordes of town folk outCheering all the Lobo teamsWell, maybe not chess—Peter B. Ives
Politics aside,Have you looked at his moustache?It’s freaking AWESOME!!—Richard Groot
Hey! Yo! MTV.I get the “T” and the “V”,But what’s the “M” for?—Jason Zsemlye
OK, so not all of these are in proper 5-7-5 haiku form, but they made us smile. So enjoy! Traditional There is a spiderrunning across the bedspreadin this cool north light—Megan RaloffHeavy SunflowersHanging out over the fence,Eaten by the horse—David Moroleon The desert is dead,Void of life. All the lizardsMust get so lonely.—Gabby England Miscellaneous octopus in the high desertto swim next to your inked bodyis not all i’m thinking—Cez C bThe train screeches in,Passengers from distant lands,or just from Belen.—Michelle ValenciaHey vatos locoswhere are the 575 tatts?only 505’s—Bernie LievingThe mouse on the wheelstopped. She broke the wheel and ate the scientist. —Nancy Tudor Jingle Central, so much weirdThat hobo has a huge beardNasty, so I steered—Justin White You value your fries.Impoverished children starve.Yeah, "I’m Lovin’ it."—Jessa Mckelvey Red or Green Manna from heavenThat is what green chile isRed is okay too—Gabriela Irwin Red! speed past real fast!But officer, light was green!Tell that to the judge.—Ramsey RoseRuby, rouge, cerise,Rojo, crimson, scarlet, puce.Wait. I’ll have the green.—David Martin 5-0-5 Why “the Q” is cool:…Let’s stick with “Burque”—Steve Bishop Bicycling A shout on Silver.A honk on Yale. What’s that for?Oh, I’m on a bike.—Juna BenjaminHey Velocipedes!Stop signs apply to you, too.Quit cutting me off.—Lea JonesWhat good are goatheads?For flattening bike tiresThey’re the best around.—Andy Moss Route 66 chicago to coastI wish 491 wasstill called 666—Jordan Wayne Sawyer Lobos Red & silver streaks,a pack of wild dogs they charge.Victory is near.—Matthew IdziakWhen the moon is fullOr even when it isn’tWe are all Lobos—Angel MarquezIn New MexicoWe like to lose our minds, HowlAt the moon tonight—Selenah Bequette Kaiser Mayor Berry The hummingbirds say,“Mayor Berry-don’t take ’wayOur sanctuary—Ethan Kane I like the mayor,His name sounds like an ice cream,Mmmmmm … MayorBerry —Richard GrootThis Mayor Berrycan’t deport us all, but someI will fight to end—Hugo Ayala Jersey Shore Fake tans and fist pumpsAlways fresh with high hair bumpsYou can’t miss Jersday—Natalia Ruiz-FabregaCrisp melanomaAbs big enough for laundryWhat’s in Snookie’s hair?—Stephanie Mladinich