Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
10 min read
Let’s take a walk down hypothetical avenue: You are sleeping soundly in your bedroom in the spacious and surprisingly unaffordable new Downtown lofts. Suddenly your cocker spaniel begins to paw at you and whine. As you wake, you think, “That’s strange, Buster usually doesn’t bother me at this hour. Is there a midnight prowler outside?”It’s then that you feel the rumbling under your feet. Your nightstand begins to dance like R2D2, and the mirror on your wall crashes to the floor, shattering into hundreds of jagged shards, each of them reflecting your horrified image back to you. That’s seven years bad luck, starting this second.“The Rail Runner doesn’t run this late,” you realize. "It barely even runs at all." Your mind races to explain this wholly unfamiliar sensation as you get out of bed to look out your large picture window. What could it be? At that moment, the window shakes out of its frame, fracturing into 20 dagger-like fragments that plunge into your pajama-covered body, slicing your skin, your muscles, your organs.Bleeding, disoriented and in terrible pain, you stumble away from the now empty window frame. The cool midnight air enters your loft, a strangely welcome sensation. In the distance, you can hear a chorus of car and fire alarms. You collapse on your back, near your bookcase, and then everything goes black. Next you wake to the sound of screaming. Your blurry vision clears to reveal your unanchored heavy bookcase has fallen on your legs. A sick sensation washes over you as you realize that the screaming is coming from you ! As you drift back into unconsciousness, you whisper regretfully to yourself, “If only … I’d been … more … prepared … for … the earthquake.”Do you know what to do when the earthquake hits our city? The best weapon with which to arm yourself is knowledge, and we’ll get to that, but let’s back up a bit: Is there really any reason to believe that a destructive event like this would actually happen in Albuquerque? As you read on, you will find, sadly, that the answer is a resounding "yes."
1. The song by Hall and Oates is actually about the Albuquerque Volcanoes.2. Geological time is measured in the time frame of one calendar year—that is, one calendar year equals the entire span of Earth’s existence. For example, the Laramide orogeny (see time line) took place between 70 and 35 million years ago, which would be 3 to 6 days ago in relation to our planet’s entire history. 3. Magma is molten rock below the Earth’s surface. Lava is molten rock released above the Earth’s surface by an eruption.4. This is a large eruption that covers a substantial area of land. 5. Your whiskey should be clearly labeled “in case of earthquake.”6. Those who find themselves on a bridge or freeway overpass should drive like hell until no longer on these places. I mean, can you imagine how ridiculous it would be to stop on a bridge? Those things always collapse. Yikes. The best bet is probably just to avoid those places altogether. 7. These will be a real threat if the proper citizen sacrifices to Maneater do not take place.