In the spirit of the ancient and noble art of haiku, I’ll keep this intro brief: Haiku were manySelection was challengingReward is endless Domo arigato to all who participated and to my fellow judges (Nick Brown, Jessica Cassyle Carr, Christie Chisholm, Marisa Demarco, Laura Marrich, Simon McCormack and Jesse Schulz). Word to our prize sponsors: Guerrilla Graphix, Tucanos Brazilian Grill, Central Park Hair Studio, Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, JC’s NYPD, Gold Street Caffè, Hinkle Family Fun Center, Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and Burning Paradise Video. All winners may pick up their prizes from the Alibi offices (413 Central NW) during business hours (9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday). Let the ku coup commence.
Best Traditional Haiku
June bugs fly drunkenand lie down with faint cricketsin Late August grave—Victoria RodriguesWhen it came to painting colorful visions of natural wonder—as classic haiku does so well—Victoria Rodrigues’ image of June bugs and summer’s end dominated the judges’ senses. For this accomplishment, she receives a $20 gift certificate to Tucanos Brazilian Grill, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge.
Never heard of itCould you point me to this "Q"?Yo soy de Burque—Victoria RodriguesIt should be noted that the authors’ names were omitted during the final selection process so we could offer the most unbiased judgment possible. Thus, Victoria Rodrigues’ second win in this competition (see “Best Traditional Haiku”) was a surprise to us all, but the quality of her "Q" haiku was not. Rodrigues nabs a $25 gift certificate to JC’s NYPD, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge.
Best Haiku About Caffeine
Has lit up more eyesthan Edison’s bright lightbulband caused more lost sleep—Larry ElmoreJust reading all these highly caffeinated haiku gave us the jitters. Larry Elmore’s well-crafted 17 syllables topped the judges’ lists for its accusatory approach to the subject. Elmore can get his caffeine fix with a $10 gift certificate to Gold Street Caffè, a $10 voucher good at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (bearer of coffee’s best friend), a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge.
Most Mysterious Haiku
Outside the windowI found two pieces of corn,And they were buttered—Will Geusz, AHSThis category posed some conceptual problems for many entrants. Some even wrote about how impossible it is to write a "mysterious" haiku. But Will Geusz got it. Buttered corn? Nice. His prize package includes a $10 gift certificate to Hinkle Family Fun Center, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder, a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge and a possibly expired (it’s a mystery!) certificate for membership at Burning Paradise Video.
Best Haiku About Burquewood
Hoping that guard dogsand burnt Hummer carcassesare part of the set—Andrea GreenleeDowntown Albuquerque has appeared downright apocalyptic at times. Andrea Greenlee’s tiny poem captured the very essence of Burquewood as viewed from outside the biz. She gets a $20 gift certificate to Tucanos Brazilian Grill, a voucher for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, a $10 certificate good at Gold Street Caffè (for rubbing elbows with industry peeps), an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge.
Best Haiku About Superpowers
Wouldn’t it be niceto melt your enemy’s faceright off their fat head?—Laz Romankiw, AHSYes. Yes, it would! The judges couldn’t count the number of times on all our fingers and toes we’ve wished for that same super-ability. If you figure out how to do it, Laz Romankiw, please teach us. Until then, enjoy a voucher for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder, a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge and $20 good at Hinkle Family Fun Center (for superpower practice).
Best Haiku About Rectangles
I run my hands downyour long side, always equalcorners turn me on—Andrew Kolberg, AHSAndrew Kolberg took geometry into the realm of passion with his haiku about everyone’s favorite wannabe square. In return, Kolberg receives a $25 gift certificate to JC’s NYPD, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge.
Best Haiku About How You Spent Your Stimulus Check
Kite, shank, shoelacesA life-size C-3POPorcelain penguin—Bridgette McMahon and Kurt JohnsonMany, many ( so many) of the haiku entries in this category had something to do with a tank of gas. Some were great (see "Ku Continued"), but Bridgette McMahon and Kurt Johnson’s shopping list spoke to the impulse spender in us all. They get to divvy up a $20 gift certificate to Tucanos Brazilian Grill, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, two $10 gift certificates to Central Park Hair Studio (a haircut for each), $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge.
Best Haiku About Poo
Felt I needed atremendous defecationwhen we were flirting—Andrew FabryHats off to everyone who submitted a poo ku. Your bravery in taking on toilet poetry is craptastic. But in the end, Andrew Fabry takes the big one—the title of best haiku about shit. He gets a $20 gift certificate to Tucanos Brazilian Grill, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder, a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge and a bonus $10 gift card to Hinkle Family Fun Center.
Best Miscellaneous Haiku
I am in love withmy dentist’s receptionist.I have stopped brushing.—Frank CalabrettaThis was, by far, the toughest category to judge. It was Frank Calabretta’s anecdote about a secret love that finally ran away with our hearts. He makes off with a (miscellaneous) prize pack including a $25 gift certificate to JC’s NYPD, an inflatable Margaritaville pool toy (we think) from Nick Brown’s floor, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, four soy sauce packets, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, a zombie bumper sticker from Burning Paradise Video, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge.
More Haiku To Feed A Revolution Ku Continued
Traditional Nature is urban As light posts became the sun We become machines.—Carolina Gomez, AHSTwenty birds eatingSudden sound breaks the silenceSwift rain in reverse—Julia MaceSparrow’s crusty bread,stale and hard as intended,waits for the next bird—Chris JacobsenFebruary moonis long in the winter sky—stars shiver and fade—Kathryne LimTwo birds call greetingsfrom across a distant fieldwonder how you are—Adele Dunnemountain sides afiregold crowns beneath azure skywelcoming the cold—Morgan Matthew, AHS "The Q" Who is this Duke guy?Better than Earl of SandwichBut less tasty name—Joshua WilsonBurque por vidaWho wants to call it "The Q"?Only the mayor—Michael GreenAt dawn bright valleyAt dusk soft pink SandiasBetween I survive—Anthony MasiHaiku’s in "The Q"each year in the Alibi Win Don Schrader’s pants!—Dan Otero"Q" helps with homework,washes dishes, takes out trashWhat a "friendly" god—Richard Wolfson Caffeine I drank a Red BullEnergy filled my bodyNow I have cancer—Will Geusz, AHSAfter five coffees,I’m thinking this must be theBest haiku ever!!!!—Richard FyeCaffeinated drinksAren’t really my cup of teaHa ha, tea … get it?—Emily SchmeltzerTwitching as I write,Six Mountain Dews or seven,Did you hear that noise?—Rich GrootJittery. Sweaty.Still paying off my latteGoddamn you, Starbucks!—Joshua Wilson Mysterious Wee plastic ninjaMaster of hide and go seekBow to the remote—Rich Groottelephone pole sitspaved road emanating heatcrow laughs silently—David BowesA walk at midnightFrigid fingers trace my back;Gone without a scream.—Hannah BrownI’ve keratosis,Coitus interruptosis,And halitosis.—Kevin WetSpot Burquewood I want to be morethan "drunk girl number thirteen"in life’s end credits—Andrea GreenleeWorked on three movies.It was great, food, pretty girls.I saw a nipple.—Richard ChongJessica AlbaCan’t find good food in BurqueBetter go home then—Bennigna Riveraextras sit with hopein little room with peanutsthey don’t care bout you—David BowesLights? flashing marqueeCamera? captures imageAction? "Cops," Burque.—Stephen Welford, AHS Superpowers Tired of glasses?Radioactive spiders.That’s all I’m saying.—Tahemet AllegraX-ray vision fails.I see through the dress, but Isee through the boobs, too.—Jason ZsemlyeBy superpowersDo you mean, like, huge countries?Or amazing skills—Joshua WilsonOil and blood in mud,a mix of cultural cuda dollar above—Chris Jacobsen Rectangles Ships navigate throughthe Bermuda Rectanglewithout incident.—Sue McGilpin, Calif.QuadrilateralRiemann integral limitParallelogram—Trevor Turbov, AHSIt’s impossibleTo write a poem that doesRectangles justice—Barak Freedman, AHSCall me four sideddisdain my right angles, butit beats being square—Larry Elmore Stimulus Check Paying off Visa,Burger I ate long ago,Would eat you again—Rich GrootHandheld massagerFed Ex’d from Copenhagen.Stimulus package.—Sue McGilpin, Calif.Backyard drink-a-thontiki torches two for fourrent is a bit late—Andrea GreenleeWith my stimulus,I bought a half tank of gas,and well, that was it.—Lydia FernandesGet stimulus check Deposit in Swiss accountDon’t tell anyone—Dan Otero Poo Ku This must not be too obvious or lowbrow— corn! Shit, I just said corn.—Jason ZsemlyeBeware of skid marksIf you tend to rub your assAgainst your fabrics—Bridgette McMahonBrown islands spinninga yellow ocean rinsesaway evidence—Gail Donnellyelegant nuggetsymbol of profound reliefthis one’s a keeper—Aaron LoweOlympic hopefulIn Beaver, OklahomaTosses a cow chip—Marie Oberle, Minn. Miscellaneous beautiful is shewith an ass like an onionso sweet makes me cry—David Bowes Don’t leave your handprintsin my wet cement, just mineI want no regrets.—Madeline Alfero Neglected peach treeIn the neighbor’s front drivewayThink I’ll help myself—Julia MaceWelcome to space iceMay I take your order please?Yes, one scoop of Mars—Paula Singleton, TexasYour voice is like hotcocoa, rich and warm with thosetiny marshmallows.—Peter Cornelius, AHSI don’t want to makethe last line five. I reallywant to make it six.—Cody Marquez, HHSHolla hu-holla!What’s good, what’s good-what’s good, what’sGoood! Get atcha gurrrl.—Kimberly Carter, AHSCan’t wait ’til ThursdayWaiting, anticipating Weekly Alibi —Michael Green
