Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
Alibi
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2 min read
Here’s a list of some of our favorite questions and the responses of the seemingly unflappable 3-1-1 operators: Why do they call it the Duke City? One second, let me try and find that. It seems to have something to do with the duke that helped found the city. Is the BioPark the same as the zoo? The BioPark consists of the zoo, the aquarium and the botanic gardens. When does the State Fair start? I don’t have that information, but I can give you the number for the State Fair and I’m sure they can help you. 265-1791. What’s the name of the lizards I see running around with stripes on them? I don’t know, but I can connect you to the Animal Services department if you would like. If I only have $50 to spend and I need to put my in-laws in a hotel for the night, how do I avoid putting them up in a prostitute-infested inn? That’s a private industry thing. You’d have to talk to someone like 4-1-1 about that. Where can I buy one of those giant pots in the middle of I-40? If it’s on I-40, you’d have to talk to the State Transportation Department about that. I can get that number for you; hold for just one second. (This article never made an appearance online in 2005.)