Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
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Best Cure for a Sweet Tooth Smoked Sea Salt and Honey Caramel Gelato from Van Rixel Bros. 315 Juan Tabo NE, 797-1193 chocolatecartel.comSweet sugary manna from Heaven! I’m not a dessert kinda guy, but I could eat this stuff for breakfast, lunch and dinner. In addition to the shop on Juan Tabo, you can pick it up at select supermarkets like Sunflower. Get some now. Keep your hands off mine. Best Thing Albuquerque Doesn’t Have Yet An IMAX theater. There have been rumblings about building one, but we have yet to see it. We can make due with Rio 24’s XD auditorium for now. (The sound is awesome.) But nothing beats the overwhelming experience of IMAX. I saw Avatar in IMAX and I want more. Best Annual Event The Southwest Burlesque Showcase. I produce the thing, so yeah I’m a little prejudiced. This year’s show (which took place in February at the KiMo Theatre) brought performers from California, Arizona, Colorado, Texas and New Mexico for two nights worth of classic bump-and-grind action. An incredible show and an incredible audience. Everybody involved is already looking forward to 2011!
Best New Band The Scrams myspace.com/99scramsThe Scrams have given to Albuquerque that special unhinged type of garage rock—something the city hasn’t seen in a while. It’s fun and dirty rock and roll containing particularly wicked organ parts. One can hope this might signify a return of the mod. Best Thing Albuquerque Nightlife Needs Neighborhood bars. Opening a new drinking establishment in New Mexico is almost as easy as traversing Middle Earth on a quest to cast the One Ring back into the eternal flames of Mount Doom. Because of the prohibitive nature of state liquor laws, decentralized bars are few. Until policy changes, we can only dream of having simple, respectable little corner bars here and there, within walking distance of our homes, making it so that we don’t have to go to Downtown or Nob Hill just to get a beer.
Worst Place and Time to Ride Your Bike Coal heading East at 2 a.m. or along Bridge around 5 p.m. People throw things. Best Place to Walk Through Ghosts / Best Place to Make Out The Bosque Best Reason to Live Here Cheap and sunny (ask Fast Heart Mart) Best Effigy Burning El Kookooee
Best Reason to Abandon Vegetarianism Joe S. Sausage & Ravioli3846C Rio Grande NW, 688-0445Joe used to be a chemist and microbiologist. And he still is, in a way. He’s just taken all of those big, juicy brain cells and applied them directly to "sausage R&D," envisioning combinations of flavors and ingredients for tubular meat. When it comes to sausage (and life in general, while we’re at it), he’s a scientist, craftsman, philosopher and poet. Eyeball his book collection under the counter sometime. This is a man who gets it. Best Unrealized Indication That Albuquerque Has Become "A Real City" An Ethiopian restaurant and a Nordstrom. I’ll take an H&M while we’re at it. Best Secret About Albuquerque’s Power Structure The politicians like to pretend they’re in charge, but it’s really the silver-haired lesbians who are running the show here. They’re calling all the shots in Albuquerque, but it’s in a quiet way. There may or may not be a secret handshake. Best Long Walk for Dogs and Humans The Atrisco Feeder. That’s the ditch sandwiched between Rio Grande (the boulevard) and the Rio Grande (the river). It runs all the from the Pueblos out north to Tingley Beach. For an unrivaled car-free tour of the North Valley, start near the Rio Grande Nature Center on Candelaria and don’t stop until you hit Corrales.With all that water and the old-growth cottonwoods lining the ditch banks, it’s like walking into a postcard. On a slightly creepier note, you get an excellent view into people’s backyards—it’s a mix of exquisite homes and shacks so shaky, it’s a miracle they’re still standing. Best of all, we’re back in irrigation season. You haven’t truly experienced the Valley until you’ve seen ducks floating in a grain field.
Best Place to Watch the World Cup Two Fools Tavern, a haven for Europhiles and those who drink with them. Best Place to Get a Doughnut Nada. Where are our locally owned doughnut holes-in-the-wall? Best Place to Get Mad-dogged Driving anywhere. Why the hate, Burque? Best Place to Get Cupcake Molds Shaped Like a Cross The Specialty Shop Best Place to Speak in a Fake British Accent Borders Best Place to Fall Down the Stairs Anodyne