Zozobra: Offerings To The Flames

A Selection Of Regrets From Burqueños To Be Burned After Reading

\ Aug 25, 2016

4 min read

I regret not getting to say goodbye to my boyfriend, Ron, before he died in November.

I wish I’d never gotten the platinum card.

My regret is that I didn’t go back east to spend time with my BBF after her father-in-law passed in April. I think of her everyday.

I regret calling Forrest Gump one of the best films of 1994. It wasn’t.

I regret staying out until 2am on a weeknight, mixing too many types of alcohol, ending up at that one strip club in town most likely to give a person pinkeye, and worst of all, breaking my brand new phone falling in heels while drunkenly talking on the phone to my in-laws. Actually, screw it, who’s free next Tuesday?

I regret not joining the military and having job security for me and my kids.

Sometimes I still regret leaving California. That regret is fading as I start to like it here in Albuquerque more and more, but I still find myself fighting that "What if?" voice in the back of my head a lot.

I regret being selfish and only thinking of myself.

I regret letting him cut my girlfriend’s hair. Part of me regrets not being able to mitigate the catastrophe that came to a head soon after. Another part of me regrets he didn’t leave sooner.

If only I had listened to my heart instead of everyone else.

I regret that I haven’t completed my neo-noir Native film script yet!

I regret not taking that free shot earlier that a bartender offered me.

I regret that there are so many bigoted Americans a "Donald Trump" could be nominated.

I regret not calling him back. I was a coward.

I regret not being the wonderful mom that I am now to my son now when he was a toddler.

I regret that I am less myself, less bold when I am home.

I regret meeting the wrong men.

I regret that I got married on empty promises. It cost me a lot of money after the divorce because everything was in my name.

I definitely regret taking the college grading system too seriously. No one cares whether you got an A or an A+ in Intro to Anthropology.

I regret having an argument with my brother and his girlfriend. Now we haven’t talked in over a year.

I regret all the time I waste not being creative.

My regret is getting into debt with too many bills.

I regret that I didn’t talk to my buddy (who worked at the competition) before he killed himself.

I moved away from N.M. It was necessary at the time, but I wish I would have had the strength to stay.

I regret being too nice to people who are mean—namely an ex-boyfriend and half the people I served when I worked at a coffee shop.

I left a great job because of some problems that seemed bigger than they were. Now I’m unemployed and beat myself up a lot.

My regret is allowing certain situations to make me feel bad about myself or blame myself.

I regret that a revolutionary whom I loved had no room in her revolution for me.

I regret waiting 10 years to return to college.

I regret marrying not one, but two complete psychopaths. My second divorce is almost over.

I regret going to Law School at UNM for 1 year! So much DEBT!

I regret not going to the doctor sooner so I wouldn’t get sicker.

I regret staying in a relationship where he would make me feel bad about myself.

I regret not seeing my kids and grandkids enough.

I regret the time I’ve wasted scanning the “I Saw You” ads in vain.

I regret letting the good things we had slip through my fingers. I regret being complacent as we slowly drifted apart, each of us upon our own little iceberg at sea until we couldn’t or didn’t want to reach each other anymore. I’m sorry, Sarah.

My biggest regret is that I didn’t speak up about something traumatic that took place in my life soon enough, which resulted in a man never having consequences for what he did.