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Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
7 min read
ARIES (March 21-April 19): On a January morning in 1943, the town of Spearfish, South Dakota experienced very weird weather. At 7:30 a.m. the temperature was minus 4 degrees Fahrenheit. In the next two minutes, due to an unusual type of wind sweeping down over nearby Lookout Mountain, thermometers shot up 49 degrees. Over the next hour and a half, the air grew even warmer. But by 9:30, the temperature had plummeted back to minus 4 degrees. I’m wondering if your moods might swing with this much bounce in the coming weeks. As long as you keep in mind that no single feeling is likely to last very long, it doesn’t have to be a problem. You may even find a way to enjoy the breathtaking ebbs and flows. Halloween costume suggestion: roller coaster rider, Jekyll and Hyde, warm clothes on one side of your body and shorts or bathing suit on the other.TAURUS (April 20-May 20): How dare you be so magnetic and tempting? What were you thinking when you turned up the intensity of your charm to such a high level? I suggest you consider exercising more caution about expressing your radiance. People may have other things to do besides daydreaming about you. But if you really can’t bring yourself to be a little less attractive—if you absolutely refuse to tone yourself down—please at least try to be extra kind and generous. Share your emotional wealth. Overflow with more than your usual allotments of blessings. Halloween costume suggestion: a shamanic Santa Claus; a witchy Easter Bunny.GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the last ten days of November and the month of December, I suspect there will be wild-card interludes when you can enjoy smart gambles, daring stunts, cute tricks, and mythic escapades. But the next three weeks will not be like that. On the contrary. For the immediate future, I think you should be an upstanding citizen, a well-behaved helper, and a dutiful truth-teller. Can you handle that? If so, I bet you will get sneak peaks of the fun and productive mischief that could be yours in the last six weeks of 2015. Halloween costume suggestion: the most normal person in the world.CANCER (June 21-July 22): Members of the gazelle species known as the springbok periodically engage in a behavior known as pronking. They leap into the air and propel themselves a great distance with all four feet off the ground, bounding around with abandon. What evolutionary purpose does this serve? Some scientists are puzzled, but not naturalist David Attenborough. In the documentary film Africa, he follows a springbok herd as it wanders through the desert for months, hoping to find a rare rainstorm. Finally it happens. As if in celebration, the springboks erupt with an outbreak of pronking. "They are dancing for joy," Attenborough declares. Given the lucky breaks and creative breakthroughs coming your way, Cancerian, I foresee you doing something similar. Halloween costume suggestion: a pronking gazelle, a hippety-hopping bunny, a boisterous baby goat.LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "A very little key will open a very heavy door," wrote Charles Dickens in his short story "Hunted Down." Make that one of your guiding meditations in the coming days, Leo. In the back of your mind, keep visualizing the image of a little key opening a heavy door. Doing so will help ensure that you’ll be alert when clues about the real key’s location become available. You will have a keen intuitive sense of how you’ll need to respond if you want to procure it. Halloween costume suggestion: proud and protective possessor of a magic key.VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The ancient Hindu text known as the Kama Sutra gives extensive advice about many subjects, including love and sex. "Though a man loves a woman ever so much," reads a passage in chapter four, "he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of talking." Take that as your cue, Virgo. In the coming weeks, stir up the intimacy you want with a great deal of incisive talking that beguiles and entertains. Furthermore, use the same approach to round up any other experience you yearn for. The way you play with language will be crucial in your efforts to fulfill your wishes. Luckily, I expect your persuasive powers to be even greater than they usually are. Halloween costume suggestion: the ultimate salesperson.LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I encourage you to be super rhythmical and melodious in the coming days. Don’t just sing in the shower and in the car. Hum and warble and whistle while shopping for vegetables and washing the dishes and walking the dog. Allot yourself more than enough time to shimmy and cavort, not just on the dance floor but anywhere else you can get away with it. For extra credit, experiment with lyrical flourishes whenever you’re in bed doing the jizzle-skazzle. Halloween costume suggestion: wandering troubadour, street musician, free-styling rapper, operatic diva, medicine woman who heals with sound.SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I expect you to be in a state of continual birth for the next four weeks. Awakening and activation will come naturally. Your drive to blossom and create may be irresistible, bordering on unruly. Does that sound overwhelming? I don’t think it will be a problem as long as you cultivate a mood of amazed amusement about how strong it feels. To help maintain your poise, keep in mind that your growth spurt is a natural response to the dissolution that preceded it. Halloween costume suggestion: a fountain, an erupting volcano, the growing beanstalk from the "Jack and the Beanstalk" fairy tale.SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again." So says Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield. Can you guess why I’m bringing it to your attention, Sagittarius? It’s one of those times when you can do yourself a big favor by sloughing off the stale, worn-out, decaying parts of your past. Luckily for you, you now have an extraordinary talent for doing just that. I suspect you will also receive unexpected help and surprising grace as you proceed. Halloween costume suggestion: a snake molting its skin.CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Speaking on behalf of your wild mind, I’m letting you know that you’re due for an immersion in revelry and festivity. Plugging away at business as usual could become counterproductive unless you take at least brief excursions to the frontiers of pleasure. High integrity may become sterile unless you expose it to an unpredictable adventure or two. Halloween costume suggestion: party animal, hell raiser, social butterfly, god or goddess of delight. Every one of us harbors a touch of crazy genius that periodically needs to be unleashed, and now is that time for you.AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I hope you will chose a Halloween costume that emboldens you to feel powerful. For the next three weeks, it’s in your long-term interest to invoke a visceral sense of potency, dominion, and sovereignty. What clothes and trappings might stimulate these qualities in you? Those of a king or queen? A rock star or CEO? A fairy godmother, superhero, or dragon-tamer? Only you know which archetypal persona will help stir up your untapped reserves of confidence and command.PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It’s time to stretch the boundaries, Pisces. You have license to expand the containers and outgrow the expectations and wage rebellion for the sheer fun of it. The frontiers are calling you. Your enmeshment in small talk and your attachment to trivial wishes are hereby suspended. Your mind yearns to be blown and blown and blown again! I dare you to wander outside your overly safe haven and go in quest of provocative curiosities. Halloween costume suggestions: mad scientist, wild-eyed revolutionary, Dr. Who.Homework: What is your greatest fear? Make fun of it this Halloween. Tell me about it at FreeWillAstrology.com.