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Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
7 min read
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Edmund Kean (1787-1833) was one of the most famous British actors of his time. But a contemporary, the poet Samuel Coleridge, was frustrated by Kean’s inconsistency, regarding him as a great artist who on occasion lapsed into histrionics. "To see him act," said Coleridge, "is like reading Shakespeare by flashes of lightning." Now and then I get that feeling about you, Aries. You have bursts of brilliance that you sometimes don’t follow up on. You’re like a superstar who loses your concentration. But I’ve got a strong feeling that in 2014 you will at least partially overcome this tendency. Your word of power will be consistency.TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937) is known as the father of nuclear physics not just because he won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry. He was also a superb teacher. Eleven of his students won Nobel Prizes. That’s the kind of teacher, mentor or guide I urge you to connect with in 2014, Taurus. The coming months will potentially be an optimum time for you to learn deeply and at a rapid rate. One of the best ways to fulfill that promise will be to apprentice yourself to adepts who have mastered the skills and savvy you want to acquire.GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your last best hope to get rich was back in the latter half of 2001 and the first six months of 2002. From July 2025 to June 2026, the cosmos will again conspire to give you a big fat chance to expedite your cash flow to the max. But why get bogged down dreaming of the past or fantasizing about the future when fertile opportunities to boost your prosperity are in front of you right now? Financial luck is flowing your way. Viable ideas for making money are materializing in your subconscious treasure house. The contacts that could help you build your wealth are ready to play with you. (This offer is good until July 2014.)CANCER (June 21-July 22): French poet Edmond Jabès had this to say about the birth of big creative ideas that dramatically transform one’s life: "For the writer, discovering the work he will write is both like a miracle and a wound, like the miracle of the wound." Regardless of whether or not you’re an artist, Cancerian, I expect that you will experience a wrenching and amazing awakening like this in 2014. The opening you’ve been hoping and working for will finally crack its way into your destiny. It may be one of the most pleasurable disruptions you’ve ever had.LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the coming months, I’m betting that you will exit a confined place, shed cramped expectations or break off your commitment to a compromise that has drained you. It may happen suddenly, or it could take a while to complete. How the escape unfolds will have to do with how thoroughly you extract the lessons that your "incarceration" has made available. Here’s a ritual that might also expedite the process: Give a gift to the people you’re leaving behind, or offer a blessing in the spot where your difficult teachings have taken place.VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "Now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good," says a character in John Steinbeck’s novel East of Eden. I suggest that you make this your rallying cry in 2014, Virgo. In fact, why not begin right now, wherever you are? Say "Now that I don’t have to be perfect, I can be good." Free yourself of the pressure to be the polished, ultimate embodiment of everything you’d ever hoped you would be. That will allow you to relax into being more content with the intriguing creation you have already become. You may be surprised by how much mojo this affords you.LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1972, English folk musician Nick Drake recorded his album Pink Moon. He finished it in a mere four hours, singing all 11 songs and playing every instrumental track himself. It took years for anyone to appreciate his artistry, but eventually the magazine Melody Maker selected Pink Moon as number 48 on its list of the "All Time Top 100 Albums." Here’s one way I suspect your efforts will be similar to Drake’s in 2014, Libra: You will have the ability to get a lot done in a short time. Here are two ways your fate will be different from Drake’s: First, you will have a big pool of trustworthy allies to call on for help. Second, what you produce won’t take nearly as long to get the appreciation it warrants.SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Eierlegende Wollmilchsau is a colloquial German term for a mythical pig that lays eggs like a chicken, provides milk like a cow, supplies wool like a sheep and ultimately becomes bacon and pork chops. Metaphorically it may refer to a fanciful device that performs many functions. Imagine, for instance, a futuristic smart phone that could interpret your dreams, trim your unwanted hair, fix you a perfect cup of coffee, tell you you’re beautiful in ways you actually believe and cure your little health problems. In the real world, there’s no such thing, right? Not yet. But there’s a chance you will find the next best thing to an eierlegende Wollmilchsau in 2014. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "We don’t accomplish our love in a single year as the flowers do," says Rainer Maria Rilke in the Duino Elegies. Do you promise to take that truth into consideration in 2014, Sagittarius? Will you pledge to diligently devote yourself to creating the right conditions for love to flourish? In the past you may not have been fully able to carry out this slow-building marvel; you may not have had quite enough wise perseverance. But you do now.CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In 1588, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, the ruler of Japan, confiscated the swords, daggers and spears belonging to every citizen. He announced they would be melted down and used to make a giant Buddha statue. I’d love to see you undertake a comparable transformation in 2014, Capricorn. You shouldn’t completely shed all your anger and pugnacity, of course; a certain amount is valuable, especially when you need to rouse yourself to change situations that need to be changed. But it’s also true that you could benefit from a reduction in your levels of combativeness. What if you could "melt down" some of your primal rage and use the energy that’s made available to build your personal equivalent of a Buddha icon?AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The period between last July and next June is prime time to find or create your dream job. That might mean simply upgrading your existing gig so that it serves you better. Or it could involve you rethinking your relationship with work and going off in quest of a new way to earn a living. So how are you doing on this project, Aquarius? If you are proceeding on schedule, you should be halfway there by now. The goal should be clear, and you should be more disciplined, organized and determined than ever. If for any reason this isn’t the case, start playing catch-up.PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "Singing teaches two skills that are essential for any creative process," says author and vocalist Rachel Bagby, "the ability to listen and the ability to be flexible and spontaneous." I bring this to your attention, Pisces, because 2014 could potentially be a Golden Age for your creativity. It will be a time when you will benefit even more than usual from exploring and enhancing your imaginative originality. That’s why I’m encouraging you to sing more than you ever have before. Make a list of your 50 favorite singable songs. Be aggressive about expanding the music you get exposed to, and learn the melodies and lyrics to a lot of new tunes. Cut loose with your vocal stylings whenever you have a chance, and take a vow to propel yourself out of funky moods with the creative energy of your singing.Homework: Send me your New Year’s resolutions. Go to RealAstrology.com and click on "Email Rob." For extra credit, send your anti-resolutions: weird habits and vices you pledge to continue.