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Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
7 min read
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Be interested in first things, Aries. Cultivate your attraction to beginnings. Align yourself with uprisings and breakthroughs. Find out what’s about to hatch, and lend your support. Give your generous attention to potent innocence and novel sources of light. Marvel at people who are rediscovering the sparks that animated them when they first came into their power. Fantasize about being a curious seeker who is devoted to reinventing yourself over and over again. Gravitate toward influences that draw their vitality directly from primal wellsprings. Be excited about first things.TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you weary of lugging around decayed guilt and regret? Is it increasingly difficult to keep forbidden feelings concealed? Have your friends been wondering about the whip marks from your self-flagellation sessions? Do you ache for redemption? If you answered yes to any of those questions, listen up. The empathetic and earthy saints of the Confession Catharsis Corps are ready to receive your blubbering disclosures. They are clairvoyant, they’re non-judgmental, and best of all, they’re free. Within seconds after you telepathically communicate with our earthy saints, they will psychically beam you eleven minutes of unconditional love, no strings attached. Do it! You’ll be amazed at how much lighter and smarter you feel. Transmit your sad stories to the Confession Catharsis Corps NOW!GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Now is an excellent time to FREE YOUR MEMORIES. What comes to mind when I suggest that? Here are my thoughts on the subject. To FREE YOUR MEMORIES, you could change the way you talk and feel about your past. Re-examine your assumptions about your old stories, and dream up fresh interpretations to explain how and why they happened. Here’s another way to FREE YOUR MEMORIES: If you’re holding on to an insult someone hurled at you once upon a time, let it go. In fact, declare a general amnesty for everyone who ever did you wrong. By the way, the coming weeks will also be a favorable phase to FREE YOURSELF OF MEMORIES that hold you back. Are there any tales you tell yourself about the past that undermine your dreams about the future? Stop telling yourself those tales.CANCER (June 21-July 22): How big is your vocabulary? Twenty thousand words? Thirty thousand? Whatever size it is, the coming weeks will be prime time to expand it. Life will be conspiring to enhance your creative use of language … to deepen your enjoyment of the verbal flow … to help you become more articulate in rendering the mysterious feelings and complex thoughts that rumble around inside you. If you pay attention to the signals coming from your unconscious mind, you will be shown how to speak and write more effectively. You may not turn into a silver-tongued persuader, but you could become a more eloquent spokesperson for your own interests.LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): We all need more breaks from the routine — more holidays, more vacations, more days off from work. We should all play and dance and sing more, and guiltlessly practice the arts of leisure and relaxation, and celebrate freedom in regular boisterous rituals. And I’m nominating you to show us the way in the coming weeks, Leo. Be a cheerleader who exemplifies how it’s done. Be a ringleader who springs all of us inmates out of our mental prisons. Be the imaginative escape artist who demonstrates how to relieve tension and lose inhibitions.VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): People in your vicinity may be preoccupied with trivial questions. What’s more nutritious, corn chips or potato chips? Could Godzilla kick King Kong’s ass? Is it harder to hop forward on one foot or backward with both feet? I suspect you will also encounter folks who are embroiled in meaningless decisions and petty emotions. So how should you navigate your way through this energy-draining muddle? Here’s my advice: Identify the issues that are most worthy of your attention. Stay focused on them with disciplined devotion. Be selfish in your rapt determination to serve your clearest and noblest and holiest agendas.LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I hope that by mid-May you will be qualified to teach a workshop called "Sweet Secrets of Tender Intimacy" or "Dirty Secrets of Raw Intimacy" or maybe even "Sweet and Dirty Secrets of Raw and Tender Intimacy." In other words, Libra, I suspect that you will be adding substantially to your understanding of the art of togetherness. Along the way, you may also have experiences that would enable you to write an essay entitled "How to Act Like You Have Nothing to Lose When You Have Everything to Gain."SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you have a dream of eating soup with a fork, it might mean that in your waking life you’re using the wrong approach to getting nourished. If you have a dream of entering through an exit, it might mean that in your waking life you’re trying to start at the end rather than the beginning. And if you dream of singing nursery rhymes at a karaoke bar with unlikable people from high school, it might mean that in your waking life you should seek more fulfilling ways to express your wild side and your creative energies. (P.S. You’ll be wise to do these things even if you don’t have the dreams I described.)SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you’re a Quixotic lover, you’re more in love with love itself than with any person. If you’re a Cryptic lover, the best way to stay in love with a particular partner is to keep him or her guessing. If you’re a Harlequin, your steady lover must provide as much variety as three lovers. If you’re a Buddy, your specialties are having friendly sex and having sex with friends. If you’re a Histrionic, you’re addicted to confounding, disorienting love. It’s also possible that you’re none of the above. I hope so, because now is an excellent time to have a beginner’s mind about what kind of love you really need and want to cultivate in the future.CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your new vocabulary word is "adytum." It refers to the most sacred place within a sacred place—the inner shrine at the heart of a sublime sanctuary. Is there such a spot in your world? A location that embodies all you hold precious about your journey on planet Earth? It might be in a church or temple or synagogue or mosque, or it could be a magic zone in nature or a corner of your bedroom. Here you feel an intimate connection with the divine, or a sense of awe and reverence for the privilege of being alive. If you don’t have a personal adytum, Capricorn, find or create one. You need the refreshment that comes from dwelling in the midst of the numinous.AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You could defy gravity a little, but not a lot. You can’t move a mountain, but you may be able to budge a hill. Luck won’t miraculously enable you to win a contest, but it might help you seize a hard-earned perk or privilege. A bit of voraciousness may be good for your soul, but a big blast of greed would be bad for both your soul and your ego. Being savvy and feisty will energize your collaborators and attract new allies; being a smart-ass show-off would alienate and repel people.PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Here are activities that will be especially favorable for you to initiate in the near future: 1. Pay someone to perform a service for you that will ease your suffering. 2. Question one of your fixed opinions if that will lead to you receiving a fun invitation you wouldn’t get otherwise. 3. Dole out sincere praise or practical help to a person who could help you overcome one of your limitations. 4. Get clear about how one of your collaborations would need to change in order to serve both of you better. Then tell your collaborator about the proposed improvement with light-hearted compassion.Homework: Who’s the person you’d most like to meet and have coffee or a drink with? Why? Testify at Freewillastrology.com