Go to realastrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text message horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at (877) 873-4888 or (900) 950-7700.
Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free::
Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
ARIES (March 21-April 19): You’re in the Land of Green Magic. That’s potentially very good news, but you must also be cautious. Why? Because in the Land of Green Magic, the seeds of extraneous follies and the seeds of important necessities both grow extra fast. Unless you are a careful weeder, useless stuff will spring up and occupy too much space. So be firm in rooting out the blooms that won’t do you any good. Be aggressive in nurturing only the very best and brightest.TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Eight years ago, researchers in Kerala, India went to the Padmanabhaswamy Temple and climbed down into centuries-old vaults deep beneath the main floor. They found a disorganized mess of treasure in the form of gold and precious gems. There were hundreds of chairs made from gold, baskets full of gold coins from the ancient Roman Empire, and a four-foot-high solid statue of a god, among multitudinous other valuables. I like bringing these images to your attention, Taurus, because I have a theory that if you keep them in your awareness, you’ll be more alert than usual to undiscovered riches in your own life and in your own psyche. I suspect you are closer than ever before to unearthing those riches.GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Children need to learn certain aptitudes at certain times. If they don’t, they may not be able to master those aptitudes later in life. For example, if infants don’t get the experience of being protected and cared for by adults, it will be hard for them to develop that capacity as toddlers. This is a good metaphor for a developmental phase that you Geminis are going through. In my astrological opinion, 2019 and 2020 are critical years for you to become more skilled at the arts of togetherness and collaboration; to upgrade your abilities so as to get the most out of your intimate relationships. How are you doing with this work so far?CANCER (June 21-July 22): Vantablack is a material made of carbon nanotubes. According to the *Guinness Book of World Records*, it is the darkest stuff on the planet. No black is blacker than Vantablack. It reflects a mere 0.036% of the light that shines upon it. Because of its unusual quality, it’s ideal for use in the manufacture of certain sensors, cameras, and scientific instruments. Unfortunately, an artist named Anish Kapoor owns exclusive rights to use it in the art world. No other artists are allowed to incorporate Vantablack into their creations. I trust you will NOT follow Kapoor’s selfish example in the coming weeks. In my astrological opinion, it’s crucial that you share your prime gifts, your special skills, and your unique blessings with the whole world. Do not hoard!LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Hi, my name is Rob Brezsny, and I confess that I am addicted to breathing air, eating food, drinking water, indulging in sleep, and getting high on organic, free-trade, slavery-free dark chocolate. I also confess that I am powerless over these addictions. Now I invite you to be inspired by my silly example and undertake a playful but serious effort to face up to your own fixations. The astrological omens suggest it’s a perfect moment to do so. What are you addicted to? What habits are you entranced by? What conditioned responses are you enslaved to? What traps have you agreed to be snared by? The time is right to identify these compulsions, then make an audacious break for freedom.VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When cherries are nearing the end of their ripening process, they are especially vulnerable. If rain falls on them during those last few weeks, they can rot or split, rendering them unmarketable. So cherry-growers hire helicopter pilots to hover over their trees right after it rains, using the downdraft from the blades to dry the valuable little fruits. It may seem like overkill, but it’s the method that works best. I advise you to be on the lookout for similar protective measures during the climactic phase of your personal ripening process. Your motto should be to take care of your valuables by any means necessary.LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Please don’t try to relax. Don’t shy away from challenges. Don’t apologize for your holy quest or tone down your ambition or stop pushing to get better. Not now, anyway, Libra. Just the opposite, in fact. I urge you to pump up the volume on your desires. Be even bigger and bolder and braver. Take maximum advantage of the opportunities that are arising, and cash in on the benevolent conspiracies that are swirling in your vicinity. Now is one of those exceptional moments when tough competition is actually healthy for you, when the pressure to outdo your previous efforts can be tonic and inspiring.SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I can’t decide whether to compare your imminent future to a platypus, kaleidoscope, patchwork quilt, or Swiss army knife. From what I can tell, your adventures could bring you random jumbles or melodic mélanges—or a blend of both. So I’m expecting provocative teases, pure flukes, and multiple options. There’ll be crazy wisdom, alluring messes, and unclassifiable opportunities. To ensure that your life is more of an intriguing riddle than a confusing maze, I suggest that you stay closely attuned to what you’re really feeling and thinking, and communicate that information with tactful precision.SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Every year, thousands of people all over the world go to hospital emergency rooms seeking relief from kidney stones. Many of the treatments are invasive and painful. But in recent years, a benign alternative has emerged. A peer-reviewed article in a scientific journal presented evidence that many patients spontaneously pass their kidney stones simply by riding on roller coasters. I doubt that you’ll have a literal problem like kidney stones in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. But I do suspect that any psychological difficulties you encounter can be solved by embarking on thrilling adventures akin to riding on roller coasters.CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In his book *The Histories*, ancient Greek historian Herodotus told the story of a six-year war between the armies of the Medes and the Lydians in an area that today corresponds to Turkey. The conflict ended suddenly on a day when a solar eclipse occurred. Everyone on the battlefield got spooked as the light unexpectedly dimmed, and commanders sought an immediate cease to the hostilities. In the spirit of cosmic portents precipitating practical truces, I suggest you respond to the upcoming lunar eclipse on July 16-17 with overtures of peace and healing and amnesty. It’ll be a good time to reach out to any worthwhile person or group from whom you have been alienated.AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My astrological colleague Guru Gwen believes that right now Aquarians should get scolded and penalized unless they agree to add more rigor and discipline to their rhythms. On the other hand, my astrological colleague Maestro Madelyn feels that Aquarians need to have their backs massaged, their hands held, and their problems listened to with grace and empathy. I suppose that both Gwen and Madelyn want to accomplish the same thing, which is to get you back on track. But personally, I’m more in favor of Madelyn’s approach than Gwen’s.PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): As a self-taught rebel poet with few formal credentials, I may not have much credibility when I urge you to get yourself better licensed and certified and sanctioned. But according to my analysis of the astrological omens, the coming months will be a favorable time for you to make plans to get the education or training you’re lacking; to find out what it would mean to become more professional, and then become more professional; to begin pursuing the credentials that will earn you more power to fulfill your dreams.[Editor: Here’s this week’s homework:]Homework: What symbol best represents your deepest desire? Testify by going to FreeWillAstrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."