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Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
7 min read
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I believe your persuasive powers will be stronger than usual in the weeks ahead. The words coming out of your mouth will sound especially interesting. I also suspect that your intelligence will get at least a temporary upgrade. The clarity of your thoughts will intensify. You will see truths you have been blind to in the past. Innovative solutions to long-running dilemmas are likely to occur to you. The only potential snag is that you might neglect to nurture your emotional riches. You could become a bit too dry and hard. But now that I’ve warned you of that possibility, let’s hope you will take steps to ensure it won’t happen.TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If there was a Hall of Fame for scientists, physicist Isaac Newton (1642-1727) would have been the charter member. He was like Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry were to rock and roll, like Babe Ruth was to baseball. The theory of gravity and the three laws of motion were his gifts to the world. He made major contributions to mathematics and optics, and was a central figure in defining modern science. There is also a legend that he invented the cat door, inspired by his pet felines. Whether or not that’s true, it serves as an excellent metaphor for this horoscope. It’s an excellent time for you to apply your finest talents and highest intelligence to dream up small, mundane, but practical innovations.GEMINI (May 21-June 20): During the next 12 months, you will have exceptional opportunities to soak up knowledge, add to your skill set and get the training you need to pursue interesting kinds of success in the coming six to eight years. What’s the best way to prepare? Develop an exciting new plan for your future education. To get in the mood, try the following: Make a list of your most promising but still unripe potentials; meditate on the subjects that evoke your greatest curiosity; brainstorm about what kinds of experiences would give you more control over your destiny; and study three people you know who have improved their lives by taking aggressive steps to enhance their proficiency. CANCER (June 21-July 22): The moon shows us a different phase every 24 hours, which makes it seem changeable. But in fact, not much actually happens on the moon. It has no atmosphere, no weather, no wind, no plant life, no seasons. There is some water, but it’s all frozen. Is there anything like this in your own life, Cancerian? Something that on the surface of things seems to be in constant motion, but whose underlying state never actually shifts or develops? According to my analysis, now would be an excellent time for you to revise the way you understand this part of your world and then update your relationship with it.LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you thought of organizing a crowdfunding campaign to boost your pet project or labor of love? I suggest you get serious about it in the next four weeks. This coming phase of your cycle will be a favorable time to expand your audience, attract new allies and build a buzz. You will have a sixth sense about how to wield your personal charm to serve your long-term goals. More than usual, your selfish interests will dovetail with the greater good—perhaps in unexpected ways.VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Years ago I had a Virgo friend who was a talented singer. She had technical skill, stylistic flair and animal magnetism, making her worthy of being a lead vocalist in almost any great band. And yet when she was asleep and had dreams of performing, she often found herself standing in the shadows, barely visible and singing tentatively, while her back-up singers hogged the spotlight at center stage. Moral of the story: Some of you Virgos are shy about claiming your full authority. It doesn’t always come easy for you to shine your light and radiate your power. And yet you can most definitely learn to do so. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to make progress in this direction.LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "There is always an enormous temptation in all of life," writes Annie Dillard, "to diddle around making itsy-bitsy friends and meals and journeys for itsy-bitsy years on end … I won’t have it. The world is wider than that in all directions, more dangerous and bitter, more extravagant and bright." Your assignment in the coming weeks, Libra, is to transcend whatever is itsy-bitsy about your life. The alternative? Head toward the frontier and drum up experiences that will thrill your heart and blow your mind.SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours," writes novelist Heidi R. Kling. That’s good advice for you to keep in mind these days, Scorpio. Those little imps and rascals that live within you may get you into bad trouble if they feel bored. But if you arrange for them to have play dates with the imps and rascals of people you trust, they are far more likely to get you into good trouble. They may even provide you with bits of gritty inspiration. What’s that you say? You don’t have any demons? Not true. Everyone has them.SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "When people tell you who they are, believe them," writes blogger Maria Popova (Brainpickings.org). "Just as importantly, however, when people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them." Those suggestions are especially crucial for you to keep in mind these days. You are entering a phase when your best relationships will be up for review, revision and revitalization. To foster an environment in which intimacy will thrive, you’ve got to be extra receptive, curious, tolerant and tender. That’s all! Not hard, right? A good place to start is to proceed as if your allies know who they are better than you do—even as you ask them to return the favor.CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "Kludge" (pronounced klooj) is a slang word that refers to a clumsy but effective fix for an engineering problem. It’s a cobbled-together solution that works fine, at least temporarily, even though it is inelegant or seems farfetched. Let’s use this concept in a metaphorical way to apply to you. I’m guessing that you will be a kludge master in the coming days. You will be skilled at making the best of mediocre situations. You may have surprising success at doing things that don’t come naturally, and I bet you will find unexpected ways to correct glitches that no one else has any idea about how to fix. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I hesitate to compare you to your fellow Aquarian Kim Jong-il. When he was alive and ruling North Korea, he was an egomaniacal tyrant. You’re definitely not that. But there are certain descriptions of him in his official biography that remind me of the kinds of powers you may soon exhibit. He was called The Great Sun of Life and Highest Incarnation of Revolutionary Comradely Love, for instance. Titles like that might suit you. It is said that he invented the hamburger. He could command rain to fall from the sky. He once shot 11 holes-in-one in a single round of golf, was a master of gliding down water slides and never had to use a toilet because he produced no waste. You may be able to express comparable feats in the coming weeks. (Do it without falling prey to excessive pride, OK?)PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Even if you had a sensitive, nurturing mommy when you were growing up, and even if she continues to play an important role in your life, now would be a good time to learn how to mother yourself better. You are finally ready to appreciate how important it is to be your own primary caregiver. And I’m hoping you are no longer resistant to or embarrassed about the idea that part of you is still like a child who needs unconditional love 24/7. So get started! Treat yourself with the expert tenderness that a crafty maternal goddess would provide.Homework: Name a beautiful thing you were never capable of doing until this past year. RealAstrology.com