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Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
7 min read
ARIES (March 21-April 19): If a farmer plants the same crop in the same field year after year, the earth’s nutrients get exhausted. For instance, lettuce sucks up a lot of nitrogen. It’s better to plant beans or peas in that location the next season, since they add nitrogen back into the soil. Meanwhile, lettuce will do well in the field where the beans or peas grew last time. This strategy is called crop rotation. I nominate it as your operative metaphor for the next 10 months, Aries. Your creative output will be abundant if you keep sowing each new "crop" in a fertile situation where it is most likely to thrive.TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Maybe your grandparents are dead, or maybe they’re still alive. Whatever the case may be, do you have a meaningful or interesting connection with them? Is there anything about their souls or destinies that inspires you as you face your own challenges? Or is your link with them based more on sentimentality and nostalgia? In the near future, I urge you to dig deeper in search of the power they might have to offer you. Proceed on the hypothesis that you have not yet deciphered some of the useful messages you can derive from how they lived their lives. Explore the possibility that their mysteries are relevant to yours.GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The prolific American author James Fenimore Cooper (1789-1851) wrote 32 novels. In those pages, he crammed in almost 1,100 quotations from Shakespeare. What motivated such extreme homage? I suspect he regarded Shakespeare as a mentor and wanted to blend the Bard’s intelligence with his own. I invite you to do something similar, Gemini. What heroes have moved you the most? What teachers have stirred you the deepest? It’s a perfect time to pay tribute in a way that feels self-empowering. I suspect you will benefit from revivifying their influence on you. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Was there an actual poet named Homer who wrote the ancient Greek epics the Iliad and the Odyssey? Or was "Homer" a fictitious name given to several authors who created those two master works? Whatever the case may be, we know that Homer plagiarized himself. The opening line of Book XI in the Iliad is identical to the opening line of Book V in the Odyssey: "Now Dawn arose from her couch beside the lordly Tithonos, to bear light to the immortals and to mortal men." So should we be critical of Homer? Nah. Nor will I hold it against you if, in the coming days, you imitate some fine action or brilliant move you did in the past. It was great the first time. I’m sure it will be nearly as great this time, but in a different way.LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Earth has been around for almost 4.6 billion years. But according to scientists who study the fossil records, fire didn’t make its first appearance on our planet until 470 million years ago. Only then were there enough land-based plants and oxygen to allow the possibility of fires arising naturally. Do the math and you will see that for 90 percent of Earth’s history, fire was absent. In evolutionary terms, it’s a newcomer. As I study your astrological omens for the next 10 months, I foresee the arrival of an almost equally monumental addition to your life, Leo. You can’t imagine what it is yet, but by this time next year, you won’t fathom how you could have lived without it for so long.VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the nights to come, I expect you will dream of creatures like fiery monsters, robot warriors, extraterrestrial ghosts and zombie vampires. But here’s the weird twist: They will be your helpers and friends. They will protect you and fight on your behalf as you defeat your real enemies, who are smiling pretenders wearing white hats. Dreams like this will prepare you well for events in your waking life, where you will get the chance to gain an advantage over fake nice guys who have hurt you or thwarted you.LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): It’s fine if you want to turn the volume all the way up on your charisma and socialize like a party animal. I won’t protest if you gleefully blend business and pleasure as you nurture your web of human connections. But I hope you will also find time to commune with the earth and sky and rivers and winds. Why? You are scheduled to take a big, fun spiritual test in the not-too-distant future. An excellent way to prepare for this rite of passage will be to deepen your relationship with Mother Nature.SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You are hereby excused from doing household chores and busywork, Scorpio. Feel free to cancel boring appointments. Avoid tasks that are not sufficiently epic, majestic and fantastic to engage your heroic imagination. As I see it, this is your time to think really big. You have cosmic authorization to give your full intensity to exploring the amazing maze where the treasure is hidden. I urge you to pay attention to your dreams for clues. I encourage you to ignore all fears except the one that evokes your most brilliant courage. Abandon all trivial worries, you curious warrior, as you go in quest of your equivalent of the Holy Grail.SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Broadway is one of New York City’s main streets. It runs the length of the island of Manhattan. But hundreds of years ago, it was known by the indigenous Lenape people as the Wickquasgeck Trail. It was a passageway that cut through stands of chestnut, poplar and pine trees. Strawberries grew wild in fields along the route. Is there a metaphorical equivalent in your own life, Sagittarius? I think there is: a modest, natural path that you will ultimately build into a major thoroughfare buzzing with activity. Part of you will feel sad at the loss of innocence that results. But mostly you’ll be proud of the visionary strength you will have summoned to create such an important conduit.CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The heavenly body known as 1986 DA is a near-Earth asteroid that’s 1.4 miles in diameter. It’s packed with 10,000 tons of gold and 100,000 tons of platinum, meaning it’s worth over five trillion dollars. Can we humans get to it and mine its riches? Not yet. That project is beyond our current technology. But one day, I’m sure we will find a way. I’m thinking there’s a smaller-scale version of this scenario in your life, Capricorn. You know about or will soon find out about a source of wealth that’s beyond your grasp. But I’m betting that in the next 10 months, you will figure out a way to tap into it and begin the process.AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): "I just sort of drifted into it." According to author Gore Vidal, "That’s almost always the explanation for everything." But I hope this won’t be true for you anytime soon, Aquarius. You can’t afford to be unconscious or lazy or careless about what you’re getting yourself into. You must formulate a clear, strong intention and stick to it. I don’t mean that you should be overly cautious or ultra-skeptical. To make the correct decisions, all you have to do is be wide awake and stay in intimate touch with what’s best for you.PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Members of the industrial band Skinny Puppy are upset with the US military. They discovered that an interrogation team at America’s Guantanamo Bay detention camp tortured prisoners by playing their music at deafening volumes for extended periods. That’s why they sent an invoice to the Defense Department for $666,000 and are threatening to sue. Now would be a good time for you to take comparable action, Pisces. Are others distorting your creations or misrepresenting your meaning? Could your reputation benefit from repair? Is there anything you can do to correct people’s misunderstandings about who you are and what you stand for?Homework: Finish this sentence: "The one thing that really keeps me from being myself is _______." Testify at Truthrooster@gmail.com.