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Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free::
Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Some people misunderstand the do-it-now fervor of the Aries tribe, thinking it must inevitably lead to carelessness. Please prove them wrong in the coming weeks. Launch into the interesting new possibilities with all your exuberance unfurled. Refuse to allow the natural energy to get hemmed in by theories and concepts. But also be sure not to mistake rash impatience for intuitive guidance. Consider the likelihood that your original vision of the future might need to be tinkered with a bit as you translate it into the concrete details. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): There is a possibility that a pot of gold sits at the end of the rainbow. The likelihood is small, true, but it’s not zero. On the other hand, the rainbow is definitely here and available for you to enjoy. Of course, you would have to do some more work on yourself in order to gather in the fullness of that enjoyment. Here’s the potential problem: You may be under the impression that the rainbow is less valuable than the pot of gold. So let me ask you: What if the rainbow’s the real prize? GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "It’s eternity in a person that turns the crank handle," said Franz Kafka. At least that should be the case, I would add. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that a lot of people let other, lesser things turn the crank handle—like the compulsive yearning for money, power and love, for example. I challenge you to check in with yourself sometime soon and determine what exactly has been turning your crank handle. If it ain’t eternity, or whatever serves as eternity in your world view, get yourself adjusted. In the coming months, it’s crucial that you’re running on the cleanest, purest fuel. CANCER (June 21-July 22): For a white guy from 19th-century England, David Livingstone was unusually egalitarian. As he traveled in Africa, he referred to what were then called "witch doctors" as "my professional colleagues." In the coming weeks, Cancerian, I encourage you to be inspired by Livingstone as you expand your notion of who your allies are. For example, consider people to be your colleagues if they simply try to influence the world in the same ways you do, even if they work in different jobs or spheres. What might be your version of Livingstone’s witch doctors? Go outside of your usual network as you scout around for confederates who might connect you to exotic new perspectives and resources you never imagined you could use.LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The flag of California features the image of a grizzly bear, and the huge carnivore is the state’s official animal. And yet grizzly bears have been extinct in California since 1922, when the last one was shot and killed. Is there any discrepancy like that in your own life, Leo? Do you continue to act as if a particular symbol or icon is important to you even though it has no practical presence in your life? If so, this would be a good time to update your attitude. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The cartoon character Felix the Cat made his debut in 1919. He was a movie star in the era of silent films, and eventually appeared in his own comic strip and TV show. But it wasn’t until 1953, when he was 34 years old, that he first got his Magic Bag of Tricks, which allowed him to do many things he wasn’t able to do before. I bring this up, Virgo, because I believe you’re close to acquiring a magic bag of tricks that wasn’t on your radar until you had matured to the point where you are now. To ensure that you get that bag, though, you will have to ripen even a bit more. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I have one child, a daughter, and raising her conscientiously has been one of the great privileges and joys of my life. Bonus: She has turned out to be a stellar human being. Every now and then, though, I get a bit envious of parents who’ve created bigger families. If bringing up one kid is so rewarding, maybe more would be even better. I asked an acquaintance of mine, a man with six kids, how he had managed to pull off that difficult feat. He told me quite candidly, "My secret is that I’m not a good father; I’m very neglectful." I offer up this story as a way to encourage you, at this juncture in your development, to favor quality over quantity. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I expect there’ll be some curious goings-on this week. A seemingly uninspired idea could save you from a dumb decision, for example. An obvious secret may be the key to defeating a covert enemy. And a messy inconvenience might show up just in time to help you do the slightly uncool but eminently right thing. Can you deal with this much irony, Scorpio? Can you handle such big doses of the old flippety-flop and oopsie-loopsie? For extra credit, here are two additional odd blessings you could capitalize on: a humble teaching from an unlikely expert and a surge of motivation from an embarrassing excitement. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Some of our pagan forbears imagined they had a duty to assist with nature’s revival every spring by performing fertility rituals. And wouldn’t it be fun if it were even slightly true that you could help the crops germinate and bloom by making sweet love in the fields? At the very least, carrying out such a ceremony might stimulate your own personal creativity. In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to slip away to a secluded outdoor spot, either by yourself or with a romantic companion. On a piece of paper, write down a project you’d like to make thrive in the coming months. Bury the note in the good earth, then enjoy an act of love right on top of it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Once upon a time, I fell in love with a brilliant businesswoman named Loreen. I pursued her with all my wiles, hoping to win her amorous affection. After playing hard to get for two months, she shocked me with a brazen invitation: Would I like to accompany her on a whirlwind vacation to Paris? "I think I can swing it," I told her. But there was a problem: I was flat broke. What to do? I decided to raise the funds by selling off a precious heirloom from childhood, my collection of 6,000 vintage baseball cards. Maybe this story will inspire you to do something comparable, Capricorn: Sacrifice an outmoded attachment or juvenile treasure or youthful fantasy so as to empower the future of love. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): We all know that spiders are talented little creatures. Spiders’ silk is as strong as steel, and their precisely geometric webs are engineering marvels. But even though they have qualities I admire, I don’t expect to have an intimate connection with a spider any time soon. A similar situation is at work in the human realm. I know certain people who are amazing creators and leaders but don’t have the personal integrity or relationship skills that would make them trustworthy enough to seek out as close allies. Their beauty is best appreciated from afar. Consider the possibility that the ideas I’m articulating here would be good for you to meditate on right now, Aquarius. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you? It feels weird for a short time, but leaves no lasting damage. I’m expecting that you will experience a form of that phenomenon sometime soon. Metaphorically speaking, the wind will get knocked out of you. But wait—before you jump to conclusions and curse me out for predicting this, listen to the rest of my message. The wind that will get knocked out of you will be a wind that needed to be knocked out—a wind that was causing confusion in your gut-level intuition. In other words, you’ll be lucky to get that wind knocked out of you. You’ll feel much better afterwards, and you will see things more clearly. Homework: Why is this a perfect moment? Tell me at firstname.lastname@example.org. To hear my reasons why, tune in to my podcast: http://bit.ly/PerfectionNow.