ARIES (March 21-April 19): It would be a good week for you to perfect your ability to crow like a rooster, Aries. I also recommend that you practice your skill at leaping out of bed in the morning fully refreshed, with your imagination primed and ready to immediately begin making creative moves. Other suggested exercises: being on the alert for what’s being born; holding a vision of the dawn in your heart throughout the day; and humorously strutting around like you own whatever place you’re in. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I got a spam e-mail containing supposed words of wisdom from the Dalai Lama. "We spend more, but have less," it said. "We have more conveniences, but less time; more experts, yet more problems." It went on like this for a while. I was suspicious. It seemed to contain too many pop platitudes to have been uttered by the Dalai Lama. With Google’s help, I did some research and discovered that the passage was actually the handiwork of pastor Bob Moorehead, who resigned from his Seattle church under a cloud of allegations about misconduct. I urge you to make similar investigations of the ostensible truths you receive this week, Taurus. You may find discrepancies as major as the differences between the Dalai Lama and Bob Moorehead. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A life-long dream of mine came true recently, and I didn’t even know it was a life-long dream until it happened. It struck unexpectedly on a Tuesday afternoon. My daughter called on the phone from her college dorm room, wanting to discuss an essay she’d been assigned for her History of Modern Art class. She really liked it, but there were some points she wanted to understand better, and she thought my input might help. The essay? The "Surrealistic Manifesto," formulated in 1924 by the writer André Breton. Years ago, it was a crucial document in my own development as a young poet. The opportunity to share its heady brew with the beloved child I used to push on a swing was startlingly blissful. I predict a similar event for you in the coming days, Gemini: the fruition of a life-long dream you didn’t even know you had. CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s probably true for a lot of celebrities that their public personas are not accurate reflections of their private lives. One striking example is actress Megan Fox, who’s famous for being a sex goddess. But the fact is, she told Harper’s Bazaar magazine, she has only slept with two men in her life, and it makes her ill to even contemplate having sex with someone she doesn’t love. While it may not bother her to have a reputation that’s so different from her inner world, I wouldn’t say the same about you—especially now. I urge you to do what you can to create more harmony between the version of yourself that you project outward and the version of yourself you actually live in. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In her poem "The Gift," Chinese poet Shu Ting writes, "I dream the dream of a pond who lives not just to mirror the sky but to let willow trees on the bank drink me up." This would be an excellent dream for you to dream in the coming week, Leo. It would also be empowering for you to render its themes in your waking life. I think you will derive great pleasure and sound teaching from mirroring a soaring archetype and feeding an intimate primal force. (Shu Ting’s poem was translated by Tony Barnstone and Newton Liu.) VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Are you an athlete? If so, I suspect that you will soon make an adjustment in your training or technique that will improve your game. Are you an artist, musician, writer, performer or dancer? I bet you will get a sweet insight about the creative process that could revolutionize your work in the months to come. Are you a pilgrim on a meandering long-distance quest to a promised land whose location you’re not exactly sure of? Any minute now, you’ll uncover a clue that will dramatically narrow down the possibilities of where the promised land is. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): There may be times in the coming week when you will in a sense be dreaming while standing up. On other occasions, you may be hard at work while lying down. In fact, I suspect that the law of reversals will be in full bloom. Things that have been last will, at least temporarily, be first, and influences that have calmed you down will rile you up. What has been crazy may be quite sane, and what has been in the shadows will come into the light. Tight squeezes may turn into expansive releases and heavy-duty commitments will get a dose of slack—and vice versa. Always vice versa. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Every one of us is engaged in some ongoing battle with ourselves. Maybe there’s a conflict between our heart and head. Maybe we’re trying to stop expressing some behavior that we know is self-destructive but seems all too natural and easy to do. Maybe we feel guilty about or resentful toward some event from the past, and are constantly fighting with its after-image. Whatever your version of the civil war might be, Scorpio, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to reduce the heat of the strife. But you’ll have to be ingenious as you reframe the way you think about the situation, and you’ll have to locate a reservoir of willpower that has been hidden in your depths. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This would be an excellent time for you to take inventory of what brings you pleasure. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re due for an update and upgrade. Some of your tried-and-true strategies for generating joys and thrills are fraying at the edges. You should consider refurbishing them, even as you also think about going in quest of fresh sources of delight. For extra credit, see if you can gain access to an experience that could accurately be described as "a blessed state of bliss." CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It would be smart for you to whet your appetite, but please don’t go too far and spoil your appetite. Imagine and plan for the feast to come; make sure the evolution of the feast is on track; but don’t try to actually enjoy the entire feast yet. It’s not ready, you see. The "cooking" isn’t complete. To dive in now would be like eating a chocolate cake that has only been baking in the oven for 10 minutes. In conclusion, Capricorn, strike a balance between practicing watchful patience and cultivating protective excitement. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your key word for the week is "fulcrum." It’s derived from a Latin verb meaning "to prop up, support," and its definitions include the following: 1) the stable point on which a lever pivots; 2) the crux of a percussionist’s grip as he or she holds a drumstick; 3) an agent through which vital powers are exercised. I suggest you meditate on where the metaphorical fulcrums are in your life, and then take creative measures to give them extra care and enhance their strength. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I’m wearing a replica of an ancient Egyptian atef, a white crown surmounted by two ostrich feathers. My white cashmere robe, decorated with Qabalistic sigils, was sewn for me by a Wiccan priestess. My wand is shaped like the head of a Kalao bird and once belonged to a shaman from Burkina Faso. Aided by these accessories, I gaze into my magic mirror and conjure the spirit of my deceased great-uncle Felix, a successful businessman born under the sign of Pisces. He has always been a reliable source of inside info for me in the past. "Dear ancestor," I murmur, "do you have an oracular revelation for my Piscean readers?" And he replies: "Tell them their money mojo is stronger than usual. Urge them to bargain aggressively and make sure they get a percentage of the gross, not just of the net profits."Homework: Listen to two versions of the song "You Taste Delicious" at http://bit.ly/YouTasteDelicious. Tell me your favorite at Truthrooster@gmail.com.
Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text message horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at (877) 873-4888 or (900) 950-7700.