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Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free::
Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
ARIES (March 21-April 19) : Mozart once challenged his friend Haydn to play a harpsichord piece he’d written. Haydn tried, but stopped partway through when the musical score called for him to play a note in the middle of the keyboard even though his right hand was fully occupied at the high end and his left hand at the low end. "Nobody can play this," protested Haydn. "I can," said Mozart, who proceeded to perform the piece flawlessly, dipping down to play the problematic note with his nose. In the coming week, Aries, be inspired by Mozart as you not only cover the extremes but also take care of the center. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) : If you’ve ever contemplated taking a trip to Bora Bora or Pago Pago, now might be a good time to actually go. That’s because you’re in a "seeing double" phase—a time when magic will come through repetition, and via duplication and while you’re in the throes of imitation. To take maximum advantage of the dualistic cosmic rhythms, don’t seek just one of anything. Don’t do anything just once. Two is where the power lies. Pairing brings potency. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) : My favorite news source, The Onion , recently reported on a "free-thinking cat" that excretes its wastes "outside the box." As you enjoy your own phase of liberated thinking and uninhibited action, Gemini, I hope that you’re putting the emphasis on generating beauty and blessings "outside the box." You will of course also have to make some messes as you tamper with the way things have always been done, but even they could turn out to be productive in the long run. CANCER (June 21-July 22) : Are you slipping into one of those moods in which you feel like a fraud? Are you starting to worry that maybe you’re not who you say you are? If so, I want to remind you of what happened the last time these feelings got stirred up: You became super motivated to prove that you are indeed who you say you are. And that had a most wonderful effect, didn’t it? It led you to locate and call on resources you hadn’t known you could have access to; it spurred you to purge some self-deception from your system; and it roused you to intensify your commitment to rigorous authenticity. How about an encore? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) : I’m a compassion freak. Empathy is a fetish of mine. My predilection is to comfort the afflicted, champion the underdog and fight for the rights of people who have been given less than I. And yet there’s also a part of me that’s a pagan libertarian anarchist. I subscribe to the idea that pretty much any kind of behavior is fine and good as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. Now that you Leos are in the "anything goes" phase of your astrological cycle, this full-permission part of me is rising to the forefront, eager to encourage you to go for broke, take it to the limit and get away with everything you can get away with—on one condition, which is that it doesn’t harm anyone, including you. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) : Snake charmers are still a fixture in many Indian cities. Moving rhythmically and playing a flute-like instrument, they influence erect cobras to bob and sway as if dancing. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you now have the power to do the metaphorical equivalent of that magic trick. This is one of those rare times when you possess the mojo to direct and even control strong forces that may usually be too wild to tame. You’ve still got to be careful, though. Just because you’ve got the power doesn’t mean that you can scrimp on preparation and discipline. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) : It’s time to think comprehensively, not defensively … to see futuristically, not didactically … to fantasize fantastically, not diplomatically. Your assignment is to stop reacting to every little blip that leaps into your field of vision and start surveying the long-term cycles of your life from an expansive vista. Be a proactive visionary, Libra. Be a high-minded explorer. Weave all the disparate threads into a tapestry that reveals the big picture. The next phase of your liberation requires you to slough off petty concerns and trivial details. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) : "Never" has never been a more irrelevant word for you. Events that may have always seemed quite improbable are now well within the range of possibility. Exotic people who up until recently may as well have been fictional characters are showing up as real live actors in your actual life story. Plot lines whose emergence you could not have predicted are snaking their way into your drama. So be alert for a freaking miracle concealed in a flimsy disguise. And don’t be surprised if a vision of funky paradise shows up in full regalia. The future’s not just knocking at your door, it’s pounding. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) : Sagittarian writer Samuel Clemens was best known under his pen name, Mark Twain. But he tried many others, including Thomas Jefferson Snodgrass, W. Epaminondas Adrastus Blab, Trismegistus and Sergeant Fathom. Since you’re in a phase when experiments with your persona would be productive, I suggest you dream up a few aliases of your own. I hope that at least one of them will be as wacky as "Blab" or "Snodgrass." Having a sense of humor about yourself will be helpful. It will ensure that your explorations at the frontiers of your identity will be fertile, fun and never fear-based. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) : You’re not living in Iraq or Sudan or the Congo, and you don’t have to walk five miles a day with a jug on your head to fetch the water you need, and you’re not so bereft of food that you have to resort to eating worms and tree bark. So how bad could your problems be? The single best thing you can do to start fixing your life’s small glitches is to feel waves of gratitude for how many resources you have and how lucky you are. The second best thing would be to aggressively take your worried attention off yourself and turn your mind toward people who could really benefit from your help. As you carry out those two assignments, your dilemmas will begin to solve themselves as if by magic. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) : There’s a bothersome phenomenon that mucks up reincarnation research: Far too many people profess to have been celebrities and geniuses in their previous lives. A related and equally irksome issue is the problem of multiple claims. For example, I know three different people who have assured me they were Napoleon their last time around. The fact is, almost no one who’s reading this horoscope has never been famous in any past incarnation. However, it is worthy to note that a disproportionately high percentage of you Aquarians were formerly people with great imaginations. And it so happens that in the coming weeks you will be at the peak of your ability to tap into the creativity you had back then. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) : When I sent out my e-mail newsletter last week, I got the usual number of automatic replies from people who were on vacation or out of the office. But one from Lisa P. caught my attention. "Can’t reply to your e-mail right now," it read. "I will be meditating until June 1." My first reaction was jealousy. "I want to have the leisure time and willpower to meditate for 14 days non-stop!" I thought to myself. I pictured myself free of all business-as-usual, even meditating while I was asleep. My second reaction was that I should tell you Pisceans about what Lisa P. was up to. The coming days would, after all, be an excellent time for you to retreat from the usual flood of chaos and seek peaceful sanctuary in a conversation with eternity. If you can’t manage a whole week, try to give yourself at least 48 hours of profound and utter slack. Homework : What good thing would you have to give up in order to get a great thing? Testify at Freewillastrology.com. Click on "E-mail Rob."