Alibi V.29 No.2 • Jan 9-15, 2020 

Ask A Drag Queen

Sex in the Burque

Ask a drag queen your burning questions in Alibi’s exclusive advice column

Chastity Belt-Off
photo by Val Hollingsworth

Dear Chastity,

I need help. My man tells me he wants to be romanced. He doesn’t like being treated like “a piece of meat.” What does that look like for a man?

Sincerely,

Lost in a Man’s World

Dear Lost in a Man’s World,

While we all like to be treated like a piece of meat sometimes, I do understand your partner’s concern. Romance means something different to each of us. For me, romance is recognizing our partner’s eccentricities and finding them adorable. Whoever dates me, for instance, needs to know that I am always the star of the show and always demand attention, and they have to love it. For others, romance could mean knowing that someone sees us for who we are and acknowledges that with genuine interest and understanding.

What interests does your partner have? Think about what they like and cater your romancing that way. For instance, does your man like NASCAR? Take him to a drag race (different kind of drag race, my dears). Does he like guns? Take him to an NRA rally. In all seriousness, we all just want to know that someone is thinking about us and cares. No matter our gender, kindness is sexy.

If you really want to know what romance means to your partner, you need to communicate with them and ask them. For some, it is a home-cooked meal. For some, it is a night on the town. For others, it is a sexy striptease involving exotic fruit. Whatever it is, the most romantic thing we can do is listen to our partner. Hope this helps, my lovely.

Hi Chastity,

Why do I feel so guilty after ending a relationship, even though I knew it was doomed anyway?

—Hopeless in Burque

Dear Hopeless in Burque,

The answer is simple. We have been told our whole lives that things that are good are hard to come by. Don’t get me wrong: I like things good and hard, but our relationships don’t have to be. There is no shame in ending something if it is not going to work for you. The pain comes when you stretch it out and try to make it work. Yes, I know relationships take work; but is all your work going to result in a raise or are you doomed to stay in the same position? You can’t jam a square peg into a round hole. Be grateful you got out when you did and move on with hope to your next relationship. Happy hunting.

Chastity,

What is the hardest part about being drag?

—Curious Observer

Dear Curious Observer,

First, let me point out that we all do drag for different reasons. Some of us have a desire to entertain and dress up. Some want to express different sides of themselves that they don’t feel comfortable doing in their everyday life. I find the term drag to be misleading. It is not a drag at all. It lifts me up.

In answer to your question, nothing is hard about drag. Those parts are tucked.

Send your burning questions to Chastity@alibi.com