April Fool!

6 min read
Share ::
[ Re: Cover, March 27-April 2] I think that’s William Tecumseh Sherman on the cover, but he could also pass for Merle Haggard.

The Final Diary Of Mysterious Explorer

[ Re: Feature, “The Final Diary of Mysterious Explorer Ignacio Maximo de Chavez, Revealed!” March 27-April 2] Great April Fool’s Story! Fooled me into reading the "diary." I was hoping the cover picture of Civil War Gen. William T. Sherman might have been involved in this mystery. It appears the only historic march Sherman was involved with was to the sea and through Atlanta. Thanks for the laugh.


Is that William Tecumseh Sherman on the cover of your [ March 27-April 2] issue?

More Mysteries, Revealed

Nice Try. Your March 27-April 2 edition cover story should not have used a picture of Civil War Gen. Sherman. Immediate tip-off.

You're Welcome

[ Re: Feature, “The Final Diary of Mysterious Explorer Ignacio Maximo de Chavez, Revealed!” March 27-April 2] Wonderful attempt to get your rag taken even less seriously. It does make a wonderful cat box and birdcage liner, though, and every time I’m near one of your racks, I stock up!

To you and other similarly deluded locals: The "de" in any Spanish name is only correctly used by "royalty," and it is traditionally used by a woman after she becomes a widow! For example, the mayor’s former wife might have been expressing a subconscious rational desire to become a widow by writing her name Margaret Aragon de Chavez.

Why would a Spaniard appear in an American uniform, and why would an authentic photo bear the caption: "A rare photo be careful" in the English language?

The only way you can improve your paper is to make it thicker and thus more absorbent. Thanks for the free birdcage and litterbox liner!

Terrorists Vs. Murderers

[ Re: Ortiz y Pino, “Terrorism Wins the War,” March 27-April 2] Ortiz y Pino says torture victims will eventually say anything to stop the torture. I suggest that the torture doesn’t stop. He suggests that terrorists spawn from areas of poverty and oppression. If that were true then the South Valley would be full of terrorists instead of gangs. There are terrorists and there are murderers. Murderers come from areas where people are easily controlled due to ingrained social structures such as religious fanaticism. Murderers also come from everywhere else. Fanatics are still trying to get creationism taught in schools and are fire-bombing abortion clinics. Terrorists send armies of brainwashed murderers to remote areas to do their bidding: the dirty work the terrorists won’t do. Terrorists aren’t the ones that do the dirty work, terrorists are the ones pulling the strings. There will always be terrorists and murderers as long as there are people. Recall the story about the scorpion and the frog.

Folded Flags

As I sit in my cushy apartment in the “war zone” fiddling through the endless bulletins of a fictitious world named “ MySpace,” I open one entitled “4,000 service member dead” by my friend. Suddenly, the walls around me are papery thin and not so cushy. Something has come to remind me of the pseudo “bubble” of materialism, capitalism, imperialism and apathy that the last eight years have so gallantly bred: “Stay indoors … isolate yourself … keep shopping … turn your head and support corporate media.” When is it enough? When will all of us become so angered that we will demand answers, accountability and an end to senseless violence? When will the apathy dissipate? Perhaps we should just smile and give our superficial condolences, explaining to this young man’s family that his death is all in the name of … wait, what was it about? I encourage all of you to turn off your televisions, put down your Newsweek, stumble blindly to your computers and type in www.ivaw.org. Watch the testimony. Maybe it will be enough to force all of you to take accountability and, furthermore, action. After all, when will we grow tired of funerals and folded flags?

Toking And Driving

I was recently driving on Lomas and Washington when I saw a fellow driver take a hit off of her pipe. This has not been the first, nor will it be the last, time I see people smoking marijuana in their cars. This trend has risen from the fact that the criminalization of marijuana has forced citizens to smoke in secrecy. The practice of smoking while driving is very dangerous because it can easily lead to distractions that could cause a wreck, thus harming the passengers or other drivers.

This problem has the potential of becoming very serious within Albuquerque, especially among young and inexperienced drivers who don’t have the freedom of toking in the homes they share with their families. Congress and American citizens should stop this problem at its root with the very simple solution of legalizing recreational cannabis. Not only would this reduce the risk of car accidents, but it would also expand the freedom of American citizens.

Contrary to government-sponsored propaganda such as the “Above the Influence” ads, marijuana does not make the youth lazy and unproductive. I happen to know many straight-A students who enjoy the occasional toke, including several
Regents Scholars. Activist groups such as NORML have striven to advocate the decriminalization of marijuana, but it is time for Congress and American citizens to take action. We need to catch up to the prosperous nations in the European Union, such as Belgium and the Netherlands, who have legalized marijuana.

Letters should be sent with the writer’s name, address and daytime phone number via e-mail to letters@alibi.com. They can also be faxed to (505) 256-9651. Letters may be edited for length and clarity, and may be published in any medium; we regret that owing to the volume of correspondence we cannot reply to every letter.

1 2 3 455