Duping Don

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Those of us who read your letters section, even occasionally, know Don Schrader is near and dear to the editors of this fine weekly alternative newspaper. Don, in all of his topless, practically bottomless, glory entertains and educates us all. From the joys of puncture vine to the joys of being punctured, Mr. Schrader likes doling out his opinion like a dog likes digging holes. And the Alibi quite often allows him the opportunity to stand high and tall. No problem. His prose is clean, his themes, though hyper-left of center, are easy enough to swallow. In short, Don is good for Albuquerque.

Too much of a good thing, however, is bad. It is my hope that this letter will serve as a call-to-arms. Wake up, all you organic vegetable-eating, urine-drinking, anti-corporate Americans. Are you going to let this one man do all of your talking? Surely, you too can enlighten us on a more expedient path to utopia.

Give the guy a rest. I’m sure you have some hemp paper in that middle desk drawer. Just add words.

O’leary For Life!

Don’t ever fire Devin O’Leary! He’s great. I faithfully read his reviews even though I suffer from a bad case of flat-screen attention deficit disorder. Mr. O’Leary graciously attempts to cure this by occasionally luring me into one of the soulless, cramped, over-amped shoeboxes that pass for movie theaters these days. Usually, I’d just as soon stay home.

His reviews are often more entertaining than the movies themselves. He makes even bad movies fun to read about. Like all good scouts (that’s what movie reviewers are, you know), he’s trustworthy, brave and irreverent. He’s funny. C’mon, give the boy a raise—or at least another biscuit.

No, I’m not related and he didn’t pay me to write this.

Tofurky Rulez

Here are the top 10 reasons to skip the turkey this Thanksgiving:

10) You will pardon a turkey—just like President Bush, but for the right


9) You’ll celebrate life and good fortune, rather than death and misfortune.

8) You won’t suffer nightmares about how the turkey lived and died.

7) You won’t have to call the Poultry Hotline to keep your family alive.

6) You won’t have to sweat the saturated fat and cholesterol.

5) Your vegetarian friends will adore you.

4) Your kids will tell their friends about their cool "Tofurky."

3) You won’t fall asleep during the football game.

2) You are what you eat. Who wants to be a "butterball"?

1) Commercial turkeys are too fat to have sex. Could happen to you.

This Thanksgiving, let’s give thanks for our good fortune, health and happiness with a life-affirming, cruelty-free feast of vegetables, fruits and grains. My family’s Thanksgiving dinner menu will include a Tofurky, lentil roast, mashed potatoes, corn stuffing, stuffed squash, chestnut soup, candied yams, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie and perhaps even carrot cake. An Internet search on “Vegetarian Thanksgiving” got us more recipes and other useful information than we could use.

Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

[RE: Ortiz y Pino, “Immigration? Who Cares?,” Nov. 15-21] Well said. The media tends to overhype … ratings = money.

I’m not the kind of person that says, "Bring all the out-of-country people over here,” but I happen to know a whole bunch of them. So hearing everyone talk about immigrants being a problem makes me wonder, “how?” Yes, there are a few lawbreakers, but we would have those with or without immigrants. These people contribute to our country when they work. If they don’t pay taxes, then their employer does, though it’s less. In one way or another, we don’t lose from them being here. All they get is a little more money than what they would get in their country. These people struggle to find work. It ain’t as easy as it sounds. People don’t lose jobs ’cause immigrants are here—they might make more jobs. A construction crew of immigrants might build a factory; are those same people gonna work there? The big reason this government has a problem with immigrants being in the "shadows" is because they can’t keep track of their money and as a result can’t milk ’em as good as they do a citizen.

Immigrants Who Emigrate

[RE: Ortiz y Pino, “Immigration? Who Cares?,” Nov. 15-21] There are a lot of Americans who emigrate to other countries for a variety of reasons. I am one of these people who legally immigrated to France after coming on a student visa, and through hard work and good luck turned that into a work visa. There is a great difference from somebody who is following the rules and someone who is trying their best to avoid playing the game the right way. In my opinion, it is more work to be illegal than worth the trouble.

On another train of thought, I worked at the University Hospital emergency room a while back and my opinion of illegals driving is buttressed by seeing victims of uninsured illegal drivers. One elderly Hispanic couple coming out of a local restaurant in Bernalillo was hit by a Mexican driver. He barely screeched to a halt and jumped out of the truck and, seeing the elderly couple on the road, quickly hopped back in. Some people on the scene got his license plate, but who the heck cares? There is no accountability for a Mexican driving in the U.S. The man died and the woman lost her shoes and her purse, dentures and glasses. She returned to her family nothing but a shell of what she was before that evening.

So I do not think illegals should have driver’s licenses other than as tourists and with all U.S. laws applying. In fact, I think it should be against the law for foreign license plates to be shown in the U.S. without some kind of augmentation proving they have adequate insurance to drive in the U.S. Heck, most tourists rent a car.


CORRECTION: In the Nov. 15-21 edition of “The Real Side,” the Alibi neglected to mention that author Jim Scarantino is a past executive director and board member of the New Mexico Wilderness Alliance. We regret the omission.

Letters should be sent with the writer’s name, address and daytime phone number via e-mail to letters@alibi.com. They can also be faxed to (505) 256-9651. Letters may be edited for length and clarity, and may be published in any medium; we regret that owing to the volume of correspondence we cannot reply to every letter.

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