Going Gonzo

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[RE: Idiot Box, "Night of the Living Deadenbacher," Feb. 15-21]

Bowel-loosening, puke-spewing, brain-eating, bony, lipless jaws, gruesome resurrection and shambling partially animated corpse. “I witnessed something so horrifying on television that it reduced me to a babbling fetal position underneath my living room table.” Gonzo journalism, huh? But isn’t this overdone ham?

Your rant on the Redenbacher commercial is evidence (and competition to my rant on you) that you are faking the thoughts of hysterical borderline personality or just being “more naughty than nice.” But wait—before you bring out the rope, look at my scathing comments this way—I am only being naughty and I really don’t mean what I say. Just fun and games.

And “the stiff-faced ghoul seems poised to rip the flesh off his skull” is complete bullshit. I saw the commercial and promptly forgot it like any sane man would do. Unless, of course, I was hunting for an excuse to write an inane article for a newspaper that specializes, on occasion, in that kind of rambling, vulgar crap.

Hold on, you wrote your article as a farce, right? Then let’s have a good laugh because your article is not serious and because I enjoy writing criticism about an article that is a farce. But then—if this is true—that … hummm, that would render my letter inane and make me look like a idiot. But that can’t be true because I’m only doing what I want to do—just like you. Well, that’s something to think about.

Your information about Crispin & Bogusky (famed for creating Burger King’s creepy king character) being the designer of the spot was very interesting—I’ve often wondered about that. And the part about ConAgra—who knows when that will come in handy. You’re a gold mine of information and I will be looking forward to your next article.

In my opinion, since the first paragraph failed—it had a long-winded wandering fashion to it—to establish a credible premise for “Night of the Living Deadenbacher,” the rest of the article also failed to meet the requirements of gonzo journalism but I am sure the hoi polloi (whose requirements are less stringent than mine) probably enjoyed your story and therefore it was a success. Congratulations.

One more thing—seriously, “Keeping Our Hands To Ourselves Since 1992” has a wise-ass snicker to it. In my opinion, someone at your newspaper is a loose gun, i.e. someone who believes that he can do anything he wants to do at the time he wants to do it—very young children think that way.

The editor of the
Hamburg Tribune continued to publish stories opposing the Nazi regimen, despite threats of death, until Hitler sent the SS to destroyed the offices of his newspaper and he was forced to flee for his life. Now that’s what I call a great editor.

Why don’t you publish something against the war? The majority of your readers, I am certain, want the war to end.

Cold Case

In the Alibi ‘s interview with Katie Falls, the deputy director of the N.M. Human Services Department [Talking Points, “System Overload,” March 1-7], there was speculation over what I might have meant when I criticized the Child Support Enforcement Division (CSED) because "it merely pushes paper." I have found that CSED’s representatives think they are doing their jobs simply by mailing out and receiving applications, and sending notices, demand letters and other documents. Unless this paperwork serves to actually collect child support for the children of this state, then the CSED is not doing its job. Ms. Falls admitted that CSED is collecting in only half of the open cases it is handling, with child support arrears totaling $586 million. CSED must take action first by implementing basic case management strategies and then perhaps simply returning telephone calls and working all cases to their conclusion.

Right-Wing Shite

[RE: Feature, “I Need Some Space, Man,” March 1-7] Wait, this ran in the Alibi ? A daily paper has an excuse for "balanced coverage,” but a weekly alternative shouldn’t be running right-wing shite! Dinerman is widely recognized as someone far to the right of Max Boot, Jerry Pournelle, Arnaud de Borchgrave, Christopher Hitchens, etc. Are we going to see equal time for Holocaust denial next? For shame.

Triple Nines

[RE: Music to Your Ears, “The Disco Balls Come Down,” March 1-7] I remember when it was 999’s. The gay people were always the funnest people to go dancing and drinking with and the music was like none other in town. I met the love of my life in there but she ended up hating me and kicked me out for a cop. (This cop later was convicted for robbing banks and murder when he was calling in sick from APD. Still enjoying my freedom, Matt!—true story.) Anyway, much like the rest of Albuquerque these days. Knock it down, plow it over. Let’s make it something franchised and "hip" and shove it down your throat. So much for the good old days.

Letters should be sent with the writer’s name, address and daytime phone number via e-mail to letters@alibi.com. They can also be faxed to (505) 256-9651. Letters may be edited for length and clarity, and may be published in any medium; we regret that owing to the volume of correspondence we cannot reply to every letter.

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