Letters: Healthy Romance

Healthy Romance

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Millions of men, including many who love their wives and girlfriends, are terrified of having family and friends find out that they want sex with men—some try to smother their desire with religion. Some yell, “Faggot!” at gays. Some curse and bully gays. Some kill themselves with booze or a bullet. Some, like Omar Mateen, murder LGBT persons.

Five years ago a longtime dear friend told me he wanted sex with me for the first time, but not a relationship. He said if I told anyone, he would kill me and maybe kill himself. I did not have sex with him. I want to celebrate sex with a friend, not hide it as a poisonous secret to keep him from killing me and himself. As he left my home that day, he told me, “I love you,” maybe the only time since I met him 39 years before. Two days later he was dead—struck by a car. I was devastated! I deeply loved him. If the most good-looking man in town has to drink booze to drown his shame and guilt in order to make love with me, my answer is, “No, thanks.”

Booze has destroyed the lives of many of my friends. Booze has killed far more LGBT persons than all the hate-filled gunmen combined. Booze causes car crashes, paralyzing and killing thousands, including my niece Rachel. Booze causes awful family fights, ruined romances, horrible holiday memories … I do not want to make it easier to say and do things I later terribly regret.

Booze causes potbellies, early aging, wasted paychecks … Booze harms the whole body—heart, blood vessels, kidneys, liver, stomach, brain, nerves … I drink no booze! Booze lowers the sex hormone testosterone—causing men to be less horny, less able to get firm erections, less likely to orgasm readily. Why would sex-loving persons like me consume something that lowers our sex hormone? Booze lowers immunity to disease.

Many smart, hardworking people start out as social drinkers and end up sick, lonely alcoholics who die young. Musicians, stop singing words in English and Spanish glamorizing booze.

Imagine if all the money Americans spend on booze were given to help homeless children worldwide. Imagine if all the land used to grow grapes and grain to make booze were used instead to grow healthy food for hungry people.

Men injuring men in boxing, MMA and football—hell no! Men killing men as gangs or as soldiers in war—hell no! Healthy men pleasuring men in booze-free, passionate sex and romance—Yes! Yes! Yes!

Letters should be sent with the writer’s name, address and daytime phone number via email to letters@alibi.com. They can also be faxed to (505) 256-9651. Letters may be edited for length and clarity, and may be published in any medium; we regret that owing to the volume of correspondence we cannot reply to every letter. Word count limit for letters is 300 words.

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